Tumbling

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Tumbling is practiced by running through a giant cement tube.

Tumbling is the art of running around, falling down, and standing back up again, all the while listening to music. This artform is present in a multitude of species, not including monkeys though, because that would mean evolution is real, which it is not.

Contents

[edit] Tumbling 101

[edit] Who is Involved

  • Must involve 3 or more people, 2 of which must be of a different sex.

[edit] What to Wear

  • Coordinate matching outfits, complete with dazzling sequins and flamboyant colors. Be careful as to not make the colors too flamboyant, though, as it may attract the gays
  • Slippers. Shoes are too bulgey and socks are too restricty. Slippers with traction on the foot are the best.

[edit] What Music to Choose

  • American. All music must be made in America.
  • Something catchy. The goal is to not get bored while aimlessly running around, and also letting your audience know that you are hip to the times.

[edit] What to Do

  • Practice. Practice takes place in large cement tubes that spin like hamster wheels. This helps build balance and coordination, as well as bruises so it looks like you worked hard -- which you really didn't, because tumbling involves almost no skill.
  • Organize. Move things around your stage area so you can access them more easily. If you are unorganized, where are you going to find a pen to start writing down your routine?
  • Start doing something.
    • Run around.
    • Flail your arms like an eagle.
    • Pick up one of your partners and toss them to the other.
    • Fall over once or twice.
    • It's art; if people don't understand what you're doing it's just because they cannot wrap their heads around such a ground-breaking artform.
  • Stop doing something. Eventually it has to end. The best endings are usually abrupt, so run across the stage one last time and then fall down. It's over.

[edit] Where to Do it

  • Stages
  • Busy Streets
  • Comfy Beds

[edit] Tumbling Factoids

  • It's a fun thing to do.
  • Music is necessary.
  • A nice way to stay in shape.
  • It's not time consuming.
  • May include a series of somersaults and cartwheels, but unlikely.
  • Not very difficult.
  • Reserved for heterosexuals.
  • Tumblecising is a recognized activity of the Presidential Council on Physical Fitness

[edit] People who Tumble

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