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Toyota

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Chinese'bear'
Hello, Kitty
Hello, Toyota
Asian and very good at math.
Ninja

The current CEO of Toyota, Mr. Ninjasan

The Toyota Motor Corporation is a Japanese governmental agency posing as a manufacturer and automobiles, WMD's, and robot-soldiers. Toyota is headquartered in Japan and has spies, ninjas, and assassins located throughout the world. Although Toyota's true mission is largely unknown by the masses, it is believed that Toyota serves as a Japanese agency to infiltrate America to weaken Americans' will to live so that the Japanese may more easily invade America.

Currently, Toyota is expected to take over the world by destroying our American people, and even worse, our corporations.

Founding and HistoryEdit

After the World War II, Japan's industries were in ruin. The embattled and embarrassed Japanese government decided to establish a security agency, Toyota, to help return Japanese businesses to power and exact revenge on God's Country.

Sometime during the World War II, Adolf Hitler designed an automobile, he named the Corolla, to be the successor to his Beetle. Germany's ally, Japan discovered Hitler's plans for the Corolla and stole them.

Toyota's plan to dominate America began in earnest when it started to manufacture Hitler's Corolla, the most boring and souless appliance known to mankind. The Corolla -- in addition to subsequent Toyotas "planted" in America -- have reduced many Americans into a state of mindless gutless slumber thus weakening America in advance of Toyota's invasion.

Notable AutomobilesEdit

Toyota CorollaEdit

Poop

Leaked spy shot of the next generation Toyota Corolla

The Toyota Corolla was the first Toyota car to achieve success outside of Japan. The Corolla is meant to be a boring means of transportation so that Americans will be lulled into a sense of despair. The Corolla had a bigger brother, named the Toyota Corona in some international market. With square, coffin-like styling, this car was often nicknamed the "Toyota Coroner", because of its deadly boring looks.

Even though there are cars that are more reliable, better performers, more stylish, and less expensive than the Corolla, the Corolla is one of the best selling cars in the United States. This is due to the fact that commercials about the Corolla contain subliminal messages to brain wash Americans to buy the Carolla.

It is widely known that if there is a delay in traffic, it is likely to have been caused by a Corolla whose driver has passed out from boredom.

Toyota CamryEdit

Jackson

The typical Toyota driver, a zombie

The Toyota Camry was created by the Toyota Corporation when research revealed that the Toyota Carolla was not sufficiently boring to lull Americans to their deaths. Accordingly, Toyota manufactured an even more boring car with the Camry.

Each succesive generation has been more boring and soulless than the previous generation, and yet each new Camry has sold in higher numbers. The most recent generation of the Camry, introduced in 2006, has a "safety feature" that requires it to maintain a speed that is at least 10 miles below the speed limit in the left-most lanes on highways to infuriate other (non-Camry) drivers. Toyota hopes that this "safety feature" will cause Americans to engage in road rage and weed each other out prior to Toyota's invasion of America.

In addition, Toyota has somehow infiltrated the NASCAR and brainwashed Michael Waltrip to drive a Camry. After switching to Toyota, Waltrip never fails to finish races because he cannot even qualify for them in the first place.

Toyota TundraEdit

The Toyota Tundra is know to be a favorite "truck" with atheists and serial killers alike, which is why Hugo Chavez drives one. Because of his influence, the Toyota Tundra is littering our TVs using good American music to promote a obviously communist truck.

Toyota PriusEdit

DiCaprioPrius

Hollywood starlet Leonardo DiCaprio fills a Toyota Prius with stem cells

The Toyota Prius is the darling of the Hollywood set and liberals. The Prius gained popularity with these groups because its powered by drugs and stem cells rather than gasoline.

Further, the Prius has very low smog emissions which appeals to those in Hollywood who erroneously believe in global warming. Unfortunately, the Prius' smug emissions threaten to overwhelm America.

Additional Brands / Terrorist ArmsEdit

Lexus is Toyota's brand name for its "luxury" vehicle division, and also a spanish slang word for gay sex. Al Gore drives a Lexus and also practices the Spanish version of "lexus" regularly. Lexus vehicles are sold all over America's planet by Toyota spies. Lexus is the gayest-selling brand of luxury cars.

Scion is a United States-only division of Toyota founded in 2003. The vehicles in Scion's lineup are based loosely on vehicles from Hitler's motorcade. Scion's long-term goal is to appeal to younger consumers, and warp their brains to do their bidding.

Toyota Racing Development, AKA "TuRD," is an in-house Toyota shop that manufactures heavy and garish plastic appliques for attachment to Toyota autos. The plastic serves the purpose of a making Toyotas heavier and slower than other cars on the road. Thus, when Toyota invades America, Americans driving Toyotas will be too slow to escape the invading forces.

Deadly Toyota ProductsEdit

Toyota manufactures Robots that are currently being tested for "elderly care," which is Toyota's polite way of saying "grandma killing." Upon completion of their testing, the robots will be used as troops in an invasion of America.

Sure, their foreign cars can dance. But what else can they do?

FactoidsEdit

  • Toyota does not make an automobile large enough to fit Rush Limbaugh.
  • Toyota has a secure messaging network on the internets to coordinate its attack on America.
  • Toyota has nothing to do with the manufacture of the iPhone.

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit

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