Tom DeLay

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Tom DeLay
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process

Tom DeLay agrees with Rush,
People With Cancer Are Political Fodder!
RUSH IS RIGHT!!! RUSH IS RIGHT!!!

Tom DeLay
has been interviewed for The Colbert Report's

Indicted, but unindictable.

Tom "The Hammer" DeLay is a wrongfully indicted Congressman who refused to run for re-election to Texas' 22nd District (The Fightin' 22nd!) in the 2006 midterms. Before entering politics, he was a professional exterminator of insects, rodents, and bears. Among his noted accomplishments was spearheading an emergency session of the House on Palm Sunday weekend in March 2005 to pass a bill so that brain-dead Terri Schiavo's parents could petition a federal judge to remove her feeding tube, despite her husband's wishes. This was in no doubt influenced by his own decision to consent to removing life support to his comatose dad in 1988. He then showed his dedication to responsible, ethical government by threatening the Supreme Court.

Democrats, in conjunction with the liberal media, Satan and the Texas judicial system, indicted DeLay in 2005 for being too busy to mention a measly few million dollars he had received as a gift from friendly neighborhood lobbyist Jack Abramoff. The shock was so great that DeLay developed amnesia and forgot that he and Abramoff had ever met.

Just because his name was on the ballot and the Democrats sued to ensure it stayed there doesn't mean he had to campaign. Stephen did it for him. Stephen and Jesus would have carried him all the way back to Washington, each watching each other's back while the other took turns on a mini-bike. Stephen was sure DeLay would have won because Christ would be seen through him.

However, evil Democrats led Nancy Pelosi, and weak-spined Americans who want to see us lose in Iraq cast their votes with Satan and Nick Lampson, sending poor DeLay off to Lobbyland, where he will have to settle with legislating public policy for millions of dollars per year through his lobbying firm.

Stephen interviewed him for the ~~435~~ 434-part series, Better Know A District, on June 8, 2006. At the conclusion of the interview, the 22nd was retired to The Colbert Report rafters.