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Time Magazine

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"WHERE ARE THE NACHOS? MY CAT REFUSES TO BATHE!"
I kill what I fear and I fear what I don't understand, and I don't understand this.
Be less random and more truthy--use your gut.


Al Franken
AnimatedCommieFlag
Time Magazine has earned
the (Senator) Franken COMMUNIST-SOCIALIST-MARXIST SEAL OF APPROVAL

"The Gayest Thing Since Democrat Mark Foley!"-Slogan

FoundingEdit

Time Magazine was founded in 1977 by 9 drunk Japanese Businessmen. Some say that the name was chosen after they heard the bartender yell "Everyone! It's closing time, last call!". They then went back to their office building and discussed how they would piss off America. They decided that they would declare the biggest Asshole of the past 12 months Man of the Year. Their plan worked marvelously and they all became fricken' billionaires.

Regular ColumnsEdit

One of the most talked about columns is Micheal Moore's, which is titled "Why I Really Hate America". The fact that no one reads it is how it became popular, just like Air America. Another column is Rosie O' Donnell's "I'm a Fat Whore Who Can't Keep Her Mouth Shut". In her column, Rosie talks about why she loves being a fat whore and who she's going to offend on The View this week. Her column recently became a smash hit when this week when she pissed off Donald Trump.

Notable WritersEdit

Time Magazine has never really had a notable writer, since all they really seem to do is hire blind hobos that eat from the finest trash cans in Hollywood. That could be how Nancy Pelosi became such a bitch.

Notable StoriesEdit

Time Magazine runs a yearly story where they announce the Man of the Year. As previously discussed, the writers get together and look back to see who was the biggest asshole last year. But, this year they broke that tradition by naming everyone Man of the Year. Experts think that Michael Moore and Rosie O' Donnell each thought that they had been the biggest douche of the past year, and after 5 minutes of arguing, they decided to give the award to everyone so they could go to the vending machine and buy some Skittles for their daily power lunch.

FractoidsEdit

  • The current owners of Time Magazine are all gay, liberal bears
  • Time Magazine killed the dinosaurs with help from O.J. Simpson
  • Time Magazine is responsible for what happened to Marc Foley and Tom Delay
  • Time Magazine hired Lee Harvey Oswald to Capone JFK from the grassy nole and the book depository at the same time
  • NAMBLA was founded by the owners of Time Magazine

See AlsoEdit

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