The Peoples Republic of Boulder
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
| The Peoples Republic of Boulder | |
| Mayor: | Mark Ruzzin |
|---|---|
| City Motto: | Excuse me sir, smokie-smoke? |
| Nickname: | Stoner City |
| Theme Song: | Penny Lane |
| Population: | Too much, according to the oldtimers. |
| Standard MPH: | N/A. Walk or ride a bike. |
| Principal industries: | Mexicans, Drugs |
| Fun Fact # 1: | A city council member is on pot and the city is about to amend its charter to make clear this is OK. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Nobody owns a dog, there are only guardians. |
The People's Republic of Boulder is an enclave run by mad Communo-fascists. Their agenda is:
- make it impossible to shop anywhere in Boulder by driving stores away, such as Walmart, that might sell reasonably priced stuff and enrich themselves
- make it impossible to work in Boulder by driving away companies that might provide jobs and so enrich themselves
- make it impossible for people to build bigger houses than the rulers would like
- make it impossible for people to get around in cars
[edit] History of The People's Republic of Boulder
TPRB was founded earlier on by a bunch of cowboys. Around the sixties, a bunch of hippies came and took over the city. Yuppee hordes from the East invaded the Republic in the eighties and burned it to the ground. The Republic also has the known resident Mork, who has a strange look like Robin Williams.
[edit] The People's Republic of Boulder Today
Currently, Boulder is still under control of Stoners and Hippies. Pearl Street is the National Mall of Boulder, except for suit wearing politicians, it's high hippies with off tune guitars.
25.4 square miles completely surrounded by reality.
[edit] Crazy Laws
- Marijuana is illegal, but no one cares
- No open alcohol containers (again, no one cares. Just go to Pearl Street)
- No buildings over 20 feet tall, or over 2 stories high. The four story Marriot is having a lot of fun because of the exception made by the city. Quote: "Now, we can proudly say : Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah"
[edit] Notable Landmarks in The People's Republic of Boulder
The Flatirons are a major rock formation in Boulder. However, If you actually see them, you are high on pot fumes, because they are obscured by all those tall buildings. Also, there is Pearl "stoner lane" Street, which is usually populated by drunk and high hobos wailing on guitars.
The mountains to the West are inhabited by dangerous rugged mountain bandits who walk around in chain armor and always carry sword and mace. See the cities of Ward and Nederland. If the bandits will not get you on the way to skiing to Eldora, the speed traps in Nederland will.
[edit] Minority Neighborhoods in The People's Republic of Boulder
North-East Boulder is a "ghetto" style place. Only across the street from the high class shopping areas, this brings a lot of controversy. One of Boulders few legal liquor stores is located (a great photo-op for the family), and so is the only sex shop in The Republic of Boulder (not so good for the family).
[edit] A Typical Day in The People's Republic of Boulder
You wake up either freezing cold or sweating as hell. Then you put on some clothes, and drive somewhere, only to be screamed by hippies on the streets. When you park, PETA will assault you. Then, once you run away you are offered some "recreational blow blow".
[edit] Famous People From The People's Republic of Boulder
Robert Redford
Glenn Miller
[edit] External Tubes
| This article might have to do with something gayish. Please fluff it up Not that there's anything wrong with it the way it is, but it is a little "light in the loafers" (if you know what I mean...) |
