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The Long War

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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"The Long War"
was featured by Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A. on "The Wørd" segment of "The Colbert Report"
For all wørds featured, click here, for Wikiality.com's dictionary, click here.


Note: This phrase has recently been placed on Stephen Colbert's The Do Not Say Board.
He's not saying it any more, and neither should you.
DO NOT SAY

1. CRUSADES

2. GLOBAL WAR AGAINST VIOLENT EXTREMISM

3. INFINITE JUSTICE

4. KISS ME OR YOU'RE FIRED

5. STRUGGLE AGAINST ISLAMO-FASCISM

6. LAST THROES

7. WAR AGAINST SALAFIST EXTREMIST NETWORK

8. SURE, I'LL HELP YOU MOVE

9. GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR

10. DOES THIS SMELL BAD TO YOU?

11. STAY THE COURSE

12. LONG WAR



The Long War is was the Pentagon's new name for the War on Terror. Rumsfeld can pretty much call it what he wants but we're screwed. According to Stephen Colbert, breakthroughs in conflict-name technology may spare future generations from ever having to suffer through peace again.

Or not. Apparently, the name "the long war" made some people think of a "lengthy conflict."

The name replacing "The Long War" is Freemerican Victernity Made in China.


The Wørd Edit

The Long War was the title of The Wørd on 3/2/06 Episode of The Colbert Report.

Quotes From The Episode:

  • "... I Think Everyone Can Agree That The Original Term War on Terror didn't cut it ( Bullet: Or Win It)
  • "... Then For A While It Was The Struggle Against Global Extremism, But Struggle Sounds like You Are A Mouse Stuck On A Glue Trap (Bullet : Or An Army Stuck In Iraq)
  • "... This Undefined Open Ended War On Anything Gives Us A lot of Freedom (Bullet: To Fight Forever Against Everything)

Things Real Americans Would Never Do Edit

  • Chase Away Military Recuiters (someone has to fight in the long war, if not you then who?)

See AlsoEdit

  • Terry Gilliam's Brazil...
Interviewer... Do you think that the government is winning the battle against terrorists?
Defense Minister Helpmann... Oh yes. Our morale is much higher than theirs, we're fielding all their strokes, running a lot of them out, and pretty consistently knocking them for six. I'd say they're nearly out of the game.
Interviewer...But the bombing campaign is now in its thirteenth year ...
Defense Minister Helpmann...Beginner's luck.

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