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The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/July

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< The Colbert Report | Episodes | Season2

Season 2 (2006) JulyEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
116 July 10 Silver Foxes Amy Sedaris "I don't think Barry Manilow looks this good in a suit. This is The Colbert Report!" 2084
Stephen celebrated the US victory in the 2006 FIFA World Cup claiming that since Italy never beat the US, just tied, they were just as good as the victors. Stephen's Sound Advice on wildfires. On guest interview, Colbert displays his tumbling prowess for the first time with his guest Sedaris and his building manager Tad.


117 July 11 Psychopharmaparenting Tony Hawk "Now zip it and cop a squat, little mister, or you are grounded for a week. This is The Colbert Report!" 2085
"Our Kids: What the Hell Is Wrong with Them?" He skateboards from desk to a 70's-esque rec room complete with beanbag chairs and shag carpeting.


118 July 12 The America Conventions Mort Zuckerman "They say only drunks and children tell the truth. Guess which one I am." 2086
Colbert outlines his plan to save traditional marriage by stating that gay marriage should be banned in 49 states and legalized only in Massachusetts so all the gays will flock there. Better Know a District: Rick Larsen of Washington's 2nd. Colbert removes Mort Zuckerman from the "On Notice" board after Zuckerman apologized during the interview.


119 July 13 Inquisition Ron Suskind "Spoiler Alert. This is The Colbert Report!" 2087
Threat Down; Canadian pharmaceuticals, fake sperm, Jackie Chan, rogue waves and Magna Morphs (because bear pieces are included; giving kid's the ability to morph "our proud American Symbol of Freedom [eagle] with a godless killing machine).


120 July 17 T&A Lee Silver "You're in for a real treat tonight... if you are watching this show from an ice cream parlor. This is The Colbert Report!" 2088
Colbert announces he received his first donation for his new charity, the Stephen & Melinda Gates Foundation. Also, Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger; Tips to Iraqi TV for their American Idol-esque Iraqi Star, Wal-mart's shoplifting policy regarding employee stealing and to aliens for their 3-D crop circles. Wags to Arizona for their new voter lottery and Wal-mart's new policy regarding shoplifting for items under $25 dollars.


121 July 18 Solidarity Dhani Jones "We've got a coast to coast heatwave, but luckily I'm America's biggest fan... This is The Colbert Report!" 2089
Colbert debuts his new one-part series: Stephen Colbert's Problems Without Solutions about a zookeeper who handles bears.


122 July 19 R-E-S-P-E-C-T Joe Scarborough "I don't have a truth problem. I tell the truth, I fall down, no problem. This is The Colbert Report." 2090
Colbert provides a different view on global warming with his PowerPoint presentation/"top-grossing documentary" The Convenientest Truth.


123 July 20 none Tom Brokaw "The special ingredient in tonight's show? It's love, this is The Colbert Report." 2091
Stephen reads his mail from people who want to be his new black friend. He interviews Julian Bond, Chairman of the NAACP, asking advice on how to choose his new black friend. He also interviews Congressman Robert Wexler of the 19th District of Florida.


124 July 24 Moral Minority Howell Raines "I'm America's watchdog: I'm vigilant, I see the world in black and white, and I eat liver and bacon. This is The Colbert Report." 2092
Stephen proclaims America's latest victories in the British Open, the Tour de France, and Miss Universe. Threat Down: Camp Quest; Other People's Religion In Schools; LaPorte, Indiana; M. Night Shyamalan, Kix.


125 July 25 Opposite Day William A. Donohue "I regret that I have but one half-hour to shout at my country. This is The Colbert Report." 2093
Stephen lampoons Good Morning America and The Today Show for their coverage of his recent interview with Congressman Robert Wexler. Formidable Opponent: Stem-cell research.


126 July 26 Democrazy Neal Katyal "On my show, it's always Shark Week. Enemies of America, you are the chum. This is The Colbert Report." 2094
John Stossel says there is nothing wrong with cousins marrying each other (and apparently Charlene is Stephen's cousin), Mission plan concocted for Killer, Bobby, and Ric Ocasek to rescue Stephen Jr., Stephen's Sound Advice: Power Failure.


127 July 27 Secretary-General Bolton Joe Quesada "I'm packing America's lunch box with a truth roll-up. This is The Colbert Report" 2095
Better Know A District: Eleanor Holmes Norton of Washington D.C.


128 July 31 Wikiality Ned Lamont (while ringing a bell) "By now you should be trained to salivate whenever you hear...This is The Colbert Report." 2096
In "The WØRD", Colbert brings "Wikiality" to America. He praises Wikipedia for following his philosophy of "truthiness". As he states, "if enough people believe something", it must be true. He also calls on people to edit wikipedia so it says certain things, such as the elephant population has tripled in six months. As a result all topics Colbert mentioned, as well as all Colbert related topics, were locked until recently.

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