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The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/February

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< The Colbert Report | Episodes | Season2

Season 2 (2006) FebruaryEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
47 February 1 You're Welcome Emily Yoffe "We've done forty-six episodes without a lost time accident." 2015
A Colbert Report Special Report: The American Worker: A Hero's Tribute to the Besieged Workers of the American Jobscape; Colbert salutes the crew behind the scenes - Bobby, Chief, Ace, Killer, and Billy; Colbert debates Russ Lieber on the subject of minimum wage.


48 February 2 Aggravated assault Christine Todd Whitman "I just saw my shadow — that means six more weeks of Truth!" 2016
Part twelve of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D) of New York's 8th District


49 February 6 Metaphorically Senator Barbara Boxer "Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the Truth; if that's true, then I'm a freaking lunatic." 2017
Colbert commends Newsweek for putting him in the "golden corner" of the February 13, 2006 issue, where all the real stories are supposedly broken. ("Example:" golden corner of 1980s Newsweek reports on the assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan, while the cover story is about the Solid Gold Dancers.) Threat Down: Bees top the list because of collusion with bears through honey.


50 February 7 Kidding James Woolsey "How many roads must a man walk down before he's hit with an eighteen-wheeler of Truth?" 2018
Colbert mentions the ongoing Danish cartoon controversy and declares that he is against such vile depictions, because he fears for his life. In retaliation, he shows his own cartoons that Danes would find insulting. Colbert places the last telegram he ever received to acknowledge Western Union's cancellation of its long-running service.


51 February 8 Eureka Alan Dershowitz "Please turn your cellphones and pagers to silent or vibrate; no joke, it's just inconsiderate." 2019
Colbert pokes fun at USA's low student achievement in science. Part thirteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) of Pennsylvania's 2nd District.


52 February 9 U.S.A.! U.S.A.! George Packer "Hope you haven't eaten in the last thirty minutes America, because you're about to go swimming in the deep end of the Truth." 2020
Colbert awards Rep. John Boehner (R) Stephen's Balls for running a lobbyist reform campaign to become House Majority Leader, despite the fact that his publicly-known address is rented from a Washington lobbyist; Stephen introduces America to Filliam H. Muffman, but eventually recovers; ending the show with a clip of a love ballad by his former band, "Stephen and the Colberts," entitled "Charlene (I'm Right Behind You)".


53 February 21 U.S.A.? U.S.A.? Lama Surya Das "Mark your calendars America, I'm turning February twenty-one into February twenty-wow!" 2021
"Megamerican" replaces "Grippy" in the opening sequence; Colbert interview a videotape of Brit Hume and implores his viewers to harass Fox News to air the interview; Colbert shows off his knuckle tatts; part fourteen of "Better Know a District" profiling New Jersey's 13th District, which is currently vacant; Colbert places a sample of his DNA on his bookshelf to celebrate the 53rd anniversary of its discovery.


54 February 22 Absolutely Maybe Dr. Michael Eric Dyson "It's George Washington's birthday, and I cannot tell a lie. The previous statement was false." 2022
Colbert puts his brother Ed on notice for failing to give the Report rights to air press conference footage of the disputes between American speed skaters Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis. Dr. Colbert is forced to resort to telling the story using a bong and a hooker doll. Number five on the Threat Down was gay adoption. Roommates topped the Threat-down, though as toilet paper was the cause of one roommate murdering another, bears are involved through "Harmin" brand toilet tissue.


55 February 23 Hippocratical David Brooks "Side effects of tonight's show may include euphoria, patriotism and painful urination." 2023
Colbert apologizes for not mentioning bears in the previous Threat-down after a woman is attacked by a bear at a Canadian hockey game. Tonight's bonus Threat Down includes only the number one spot, held by bears; Colbert asserts that "they will kill you." Colbert reads the White House's Katrina Report.


56 February 27 Trial Separation Tony Campolo "Demon of facts, begone!" 2024
A Colbert Report Special Report: The De-Deification of the American Faithscape


57 February 28 Laissez Les Bons Temps Roulez Brett O'Donnell "Wanna prepare the perfect Truthtini? That's two parts vodka, no part fact." 2025
"Who's attacking me now?": Jon Friedman of MarketWatch claims that Yahoo! News has as little chance as the Report of winning a Pulitzer. In response, Colbert pulls out his various Peabodies and Emmys.

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