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The Colbert Report/Episodes/Season2/April

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< The Colbert Report | Episodes | Season2

Season 2 (2006) AprilEdit

# First aired "The Wørd" Studio guest Introductory phrase Prod#
76 April 3 Stay the Course Michael Smerconish "It's baseball's opening day - any rebroadcast or reproduction of this telecast without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited." 2044
Stephen's Sound Advice: Taxes (sponsored by Nutz, the pistachio-flavored soda). Nutz was previously featured in a segment on The Daily Show in which Stephen also gave tax advice.


77 April 4 Birdie Rev. Jesse Jackson "Viewers of this show unite! We have nothing to lose but the facts." 2045
Colbert retires the Texas' 22nd Congressional District from the "Better Know a District" board in honor of Rep. Tom DeLay's resignation. On "Stephen Colbert's Balls For Kidz," Plastic Surgery.


78 April 5 Martyr Harvey Mansfield "Let's see... Five letter word, "Proven to be accurate"... Hmm, you got me." 2046
Colbert visibly mourned Katie Couric retiring The Today Show for the CBS Evening News and Meredith Vieira leaving The View. "Formidable Opponent" - Immigration.


79 April 6 Nazis Markos Moulitsas "In thirty minutes, I'll be on a helicopter to Barbados. This is The Colbert Report." 2047
Complained about being passed over by the Peabody Award Committee. Part eighteen of "Better Know a District" with Rep. Darlene Hooley (D) of Oregon's 5th District.


80 April 17 none Reza Aslan "I've been yelling this in the mirror all week: this is The Colbert Report!" 2048
"Lincolnish" replaces "Megamerican" in the title sequence. Proposed a boycott of the dime, claiming that FDR was a "tax-loving mental cripple." Two changes to the On Notice Board, Journal of Paleolimnology replaces Fabergé eggs, and Todd Rundgren replaces business casual. "Was It Really That Bad?" discusses 1906 San Francisco earthquake. In another installment of "The Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard," Colbert reports on scientists who created eyeglasses for a housefly.


81 April 18 Sir, Yes, Sir Anthony Romero "Do you really exist or are you merely a figure in one of my dreams? Either way, this is The Colbert Report!" 2049
Announced the hatching of the baby bald eagle named after him at the San Francisco Zoo. Yelled at the Pulitzer Prize committee for being passed over, and compared giving Louisiana papers Pulitzers for Hurricane Katrina coverage to giving Oscars to actors playing the mentally handicapped. Threat-down: Judas, Wal-Mart, Neil Young, robots, "Winnie the Bear."


82 April 19 Save It Caitlin Flanagan "Don't have a cow man, dyn-o-myte, aaaay, I'm the Fonz, what'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis? This is The Colbert Report!" 2050
Scolded PBS for their "pro-bear agenda". Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger: Tip - Nebraska state legislature for its dividing of school boards along race lines; Wag - Eel catfish for "giving the Darwin-huggers another bullet in their gun"; Tip - TomKat for their birth; Wag - TomKat for "trying to steal his thunder" about their birth. Stephen then consumes the remains of the egg "Stephen, Jr." hatched out of, in response to Tom Cruise eating the placenta of his newborn daughter.


83 April 20 Bard Ralph Nader "Is this The Colbert Report? The answer may surprise you. This is The Colbert Report!" 2051
Part nineteen of "Better Know a District": profiled Rep. Albert Wynn (D) of Maryland's 4th District. After updating the "Better Know a District" board, Colbert notes that it looks like he's broadcasting from space. After nobody laughs, he adds, "I could be alone in that feeling."


84 April 24 none Hugh Hewitt "This weekend, Hippies celebrated Earth Day; maybe one day they'll celebrate Jobs Day." 2052
Colbert Report Special Report: "Money and Politics - The Machine That Ain't Broke." Also in this episode, Tad, the building manager, reappeared in an attempt to save his job by winning Stephen items at an auction of former Republican member of the United States House of Representatives from California's 50th District, Duke Cunningham.


85 April 25 Panama Sam Harris "How many pundits does it take to cover the news? Three: Me, Myself and I!" 2053
Attempted to make contact with the spirit of John Lennon through electronic voice phenomena.
Threat Down: Senator Arlen Specter for suggesting taxing oil company profits, Illinois for attempting to force impeachment of President Bush, LL Cool J for thwarting "irresponsible spending by rappers that fuels the economy," Federal Express for funding a grizzly bear exhibit in the Memphis Zoo, Tom Hanks for his starring role in The DaVinci Code.


86 April 26 English Sebastian Junger "To make tonight's show more memorable, I've composed the following jingle: This is The Colbert Report!" 2054
Announced that Colbert Nation was now a nucular power, "in an arms race with Hannity & Colmes." On the 20th installment of "Better Know a District," Georgia's 11th Congressional District, interviewing Rep. Phil Gingrey, (R-GA).


87 April 27 White Gloves (the "real word": "Sit, Scratch") William Kristol "I've got truth fever... Seriously, I've been throwing up all day." 2055
"All You Need to Know" returns after a long hiatus.

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