The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 489
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
[edit] Production Info
| Date: December 9, 2008 | Season: | Episode: 489 | Production code: 4158 |
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[edit] Intro
~ Stephen Colbert December 9, 2008 The Colbert Report
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[edit] SHOCKING NEWS!
- Shocking news out of Illinois
- selling Obama's vacant Senate seat
- evidence is suspect
- "I've got this thing and it's %@$ golden"
- he could have been refering to anything
- pawning wedding ring
- golden retreiver puppies out of the trunk of his car
- holding Rue McClanahan for ransom
- Patrick Fitzgerald
- facebook status
- Rod is taking bribes
- conduct would not make Lincoln roll over in his grave
- he's not there (his skull is in The C Desk)
[edit] Colbert Report Tree
- Colbert Report Tree
- no greater
- trucked from a courthouse nativity scene in Hoboken
- Christmas meant one thing to Dr. Colbert
- Nixon
- powerful man
- list of who's naughty and nice
- little men who break in everywhere
- to celebrate Nixmas, Colbert Report Tree will be renamed the Nixmas Tree
- on December 26th, he will burn it down with napalm
- Nixon Mennorah
- Dr. Colbert thought "Frost/Nixon" was about Jack Frost teaming up with Nixon
- Kevin Bacon drank cocoa
- Stephen drank egg nog
- played Jack something Nixon's chief of staff
- they remained friends
- as a Hollywood liberal elite, Bacon was raised hating Nixon
- Nixon got paid $600,000 for the Frost interview
- Bacon got a gift bag and vodak
- Bacon helped trim the tree with Nixon garland
- 18 minutes of erased tape
[edit] Tek Jansen
- still not found a publisher for Alpha Squad novel
- keeps adding to chapter
- no publisher needed for Chapter 3
- represent chapter 2
- Young Tek falls to the ground
- since it was not earth he did not die
- he makes his way to Galaxy Plaza
- Commander Joanna Valentine
- Roxy Babylon
- he graduated from the academy of her heart
- Abraxxia destroys Galaxy Plaza Headquarters
- Alpha Squad grief counselor
- this Thursday (December 11, 2008) Dr. Colbert will present another exciting episode
- SPOILER ALERT
- It will be awesome
[edit] Interview
- Charlie Kaufman
- writer/director
- new movie: Synecdoche, New York. based on a literary term
- can be described using the words
- "feel good"
- "sassy (or sexy) chihuahua"
- the word Synecdoche means: "a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole"
- his movies have a lot of thought in them
- questionable if it is a good thing
- not everyone lives in their heads
- Stephen doesn't; he lives out on his face
- Stephen doesn't react
- keeps his heart in his gut
- cannot be stabbed
- Stephen likes "Death of a Salesman"
- contains the line "man is not an orange," SC disagrees, if you squeeze a man hard enough, you can get juice
- some people laugh
- some people cry
- people are dumb if they don['t get his movie
- Stephen didn't get "Kung-fu Panda"
- no one can be wrong watching his movie
[edit] Epilogue
- Dr. Colbert concludes the show by placing the Nixon Angel atop the tree
- he encourages The Heroes to go see both Frost/Nixon and Synecdoche, New York
- specifically asking Academy members to sit through the credits to listen for a great song
[edit] Gallery
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