The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 475
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Production Info
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| Date: November 5, 2008 | Season: | Episode: 475 | Production code: 4144 |
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Intro
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~ Stephen Colbert November 5, 2008 The Colbert Report
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SEGMENT1
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- results of yuesterday's election
- Stepehen couldn';t sleep
- he tried to count republican Senate seats
- squeezing stress ball
- it turned to dust and relaxing
- Dr. Colbert called it, from 11pm last night
- President-elect ...
- Oprah got crappy seats
- redistributing Oprah's wealth
- Repubklicans were out of touch
- Large Hadron Collider
- could create a black hole, destroy the earth
- started in September, when McCain was ahead
- jolted us into a parallel universe
- obama is president
- PHillies are world champions
- 349 electoral votes
- not a mandate
- set back for McCain campaign
- come back and take this thing
- no bigger underdog than the guy who just conceded
SEGMENT2
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- fairy tale
- snow white and 7 houses
- like children filled with wonder
- afraid of monsters
- Tonight's Word Change
- fear has been currency for the last 8 years
- fear market could just keep going up and up
- fear got overvalued
- bottom fell out
- fear bubble burst
- America elected a guy named Barack Hussein Obama
- America bears some responsibility
- our fear-bloated livers would have been the foie gras at the McCain
- fear industry
- scare mongers will lose their jobs
- Stephen still has faith in the system
- Barack Obama's Term Of Terror
- a woman was driving home alone
- followed by a truck
- a woman was driving home alone
- the story should have injected liquidity into your pants
Threat Down
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#5 Sensitivity
- New York Times OpEd page published poetry
#4 Corey Booker
- he obsessed on his delicious America's racial
#3 Universal Health Care
- Stephen doesn't want to pony up the bill every time an alien pops from someone's chest cavity, clearly a pre-existing condition
#2 Barnyard Animals
- Calif passed a law to give chickens the right to do the hokey-pokey
- Chig, when a chicken is crossed with a pig
- cheese will sue for age discrimination
- bananas will have to be 18 before people will be allowed to eat them
- tofu will demand the right to vote
#1 Black Presidents
- asking for a catastrophe
- terrorist will team up with an asteroid to hurt America
- Obama will sit down and talk with no preconditions
Interview
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- Ambassador Andrew Young
- longtime civil rights pioneer, who Stephen will ask what happened to the Bradley Effect
- My Black Friend
- Barack is not black
- Afro-Asian Europan-American
- racists hate themselves
- insecure with yourself, you pick on others
- was speechless that the day would come when Stephen asked him back to the show
- was in Chicago with MLK
- more afraid in Chicago than Mississippi
- he said Stephen had it right
- people rejected fear
- Obama awakened the faith people had in America
- wants Stephen to talk to Gorlock
- Obama's transition team
- Stephen deserves one
- UN job is cushy
- MLK in 1964 believed we could have an AfAmer in 25 years
- HW was black or Young is calling MLK a liar
- We should thank W
- blacks have not seen the promised land
- every thing is so messed up that now it's been handed to black people to fix
Epilogue
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- Ambassador mentioned Gorlock
- reinvest in America
- watching from nutrient pod
- sell all Stephen's shares in Scarcerarium
- put in low-yield bonds
Gallery
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External Tubes
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