The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 465

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

[edit] Production Info

Previous Episode
Date:
October 20, 2008 		Season:
Image:Season4.png 		Episode:
465 		Production code:
4134
Next Episode


[edit] Intro

  • Every Cloud Has A Cheap Tin Lining
"The upside of the economic meltdown! Did you know you can survive for weeks just drinking your own tears!?"
  • Who Wants To Be A Thousandaire
"Then, is your money safe, or is it in a bank!?"
  • The Horn Identity
"And my guest Wynton Marsalis has written a book on Jazz! The interview will be unscripted and last for five hours!"


Image:Flag_quote_open_clear2.gif
If your actions speak louder than words, you're not yelling loud enough!
This is The Colbert Report!
Image:Flag_quote_close_clear2.gif
~ Stephen Colbert
October 20, 2008 The Colbert Report


Contents

[edit] The Economy And Its Effect On Dr. Colbert's Weekend

  • Friday-- Dr. Colbert went antiquing
  • Saturday-- apple picking
  • Sunday-- stabbed in the back by Colin Powell
  • transformational figured
    • transformed him into everything he hated
  • question about Powell's endorsement
    • by Pat Buchanan
      • Would Powell be endorseing Obama if her were a completely diff person
  • Rush shouted the answer from his love bunker
    • knows what black people think
    • is able to convince 100% not to listen to his radio show
  • once you go to Iraq, you never go back
  • 20 other retired generals also endorsed Obama because Powell is black
  • Obama shared an ice cream cone with Bill Ayers on Splash Mountain
  • people are scared
    • fear index, measures market volatility
  • economic crisis has a bright side
    • Jim Cramer says, "trampoline fuel"
  • dream of driving across the country on a motorized trampoline
  • gerbils will not burrow in $20 bills, they are not turtles

[edit] The Bright Side

  • if you're not making the money and you're spending it; you're borrowing
  • Said Dr. Colbert is right
  • we can shop our way out, just like we did for Nine Eleven
    • hair of the dog
  • Dr. Colbert has 22 credit cards
  • the good part is everything will be so painful, we'll have to change
  • it hurts so much, we'll have to do the right thing
    • it's great my wife caught me cheating, so now I'll go to the gym

[edit] Colbert Aluminum

  • Dr. Colbert is not immune, he has been hit personally by the banking crisis
    • cannot fill the Colbert Platinum hot tub with champagne
  • introduce new segment, for the scaled-back viewer:
    • Colbert Aluminum
      • this segment is for aluminum members only
      • if you've haven't had a yacht repossessed in the last 3 months, change the channel

Points Discussed

  • move to less expensive city
    • Forbes
      • Sikorsky, you don't want to be seen in an America's Choice helicopter
      • Paris, France
  • protect your money
    • multiple accounts to spread your risk
  • high-net worth players shouldn't
  • Stealth Wealth
    • Luxury Institute renaming itself "Fancy Spot"
      • Key don't look like a wealthy a-hole, just a jag off
    • Vertu Cobra phone shoots venom into your neck
      • when the Dow dips below $310,000
    • rich people's phones also contain a button for Threven, the number they don't tell poor people about
  • Dr. Colbert may have to eat his shoes if the market doesn't turn around
    • his shoes are made of veal

[edit] Interview

  • Wynton Marsalis
  • share something in common, they both like to blow their own horn
    • Marsalis played the Colbert theme as he was introduced
  • shared a table at the Time 100 dinner
  • blamed Dr. Colbert for messing up his world
  • new book "Moving to Higher Ground: How Jazz Can Change Your Life"
    • jazz is causing global warming
  • jazz helps him listen
  • Dr. Colbert never listens to everybody, his life is fine
  • look around
  • Jazz is quintessential American art form
  • Dr. Colbert played some horn himself
  • was hip enough to catch what Stephen was laying down
    • Winton said he could be a music critic
  • music is about what we all have in common
  • how does someone win at jazz
    • there may be a point system
  • table jumping
  • people with tears in their eyes
  • Dr. Colbert played the national anthem on his air horn, while Winton accompanied on his trumpet

[edit] Epilogue

  • good night everybody!

[edit] Gallery

[edit] Motherload Videos

[edit] External Tubes

  • [URL Link Title]
  • [URL Link Title]

[edit] Reviews and Comments

Retrieved from "http://wikiality.wikia.com/The_Colbert_Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode_465"
Personal tools