Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode

Date: September 18, 2008

Season:

Episode: 449

Production code: 4118

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IntroEdit

Ice, Ice Maybe "The fight for arctic wealth heats up--almost as fast as the arctic!" Me.N.A. "Then, my DNA gets shot into space! Weirdly, not by me!" Maria Full of Gripes "And, CNBC's Maria Bartiromo is here to talk about the financial crisis! I hope she doesn't expect to be reimbursed for her travel!" I know the knife is supposed to go next to the spoon! But, where does the gun go?! This is The Colbert Report! ~ Stephen Colbert September 18, 2008 The Colbert Report

Contents 1 Production Info 2 Intro 3 The State Of The Economy 4 Global Warming 5 Operation Immortality 6 Interview 7 Epilogue 8 Gallery 9 Motherload Videos 10 External Tubes 11 Reviews and Comments

The State Of The EconomyEdit

• Dr. Colbert started the show riding the curl of His Mob's love
  • Maria Bartiromo
  • Jim Cramer couldn't make it, he exploded

• Alan Greenspan is 26 years old

• Hollywood's favorite fast food, is In and Out Burger
  • beat out reach around pizze, be careful of the toppings you ask for there

• Stephen got another Emmy nomination!
  • Outstanding Individual Performance in a Variety Program
  • Shapeliest Legs on a Pundit
    • challenging James Carvill and his Carvills (thick ankles)

• will be easy as sleeping with the babysitter
• Tina fey up for Ice Road Truckers
• Don Rickles!?
• Stephen always loses to an entertainment legend with an enlarged prostate
  • what Emmy is holding up

• Dr. Colbert decides to insult the head of the Academy that award to win one (after watching what Rickles did to get nominated)
  • may be the head of the Emmys, ?
  • chairman ?
  • his wife plays the wrap it up music after 30 seconds
  • technical insults were recorded earlier in the week, hosted by Kate Hudson

• Dr. Colbert clarified what he did to the stool, but only after you marry it

Global WarmingEdit

• Dr. Colbert's warming be gone is not working
• if there is an ice Manhattan, there will be
• 90 billion barels of oil
• 1500 cubic feet natural gas
• corpses of elfs that tried to unionize

Smokin' Pole

• Stephen Harper PM of Canada

• Russia

• U.S. is mapping the Arctic Seabed
  • The Fightin' Cartographers

• Sarah Palin is a super American
  • armed with a hunting knife and a tube of lipstick

• Dr. Colbert uses his shofar to alert Palin
  • The Palin Signal looks like a moose head with antlers

Operation ImmortalityEdit

• Dr. Colbert comes back from the break hammering his hand with a sledge hammer and drinks a swig of
• Dr. Colbert is immortal!
  • His DNA will be
    • bucket of truthguts and Bud Lime
• Operation Immortality
  • 2 more states legalize gay marriage and God will go apeshit

• cheek swab
• some oompf
• something to make it smell nice

• Richard Garriott
  • brazilionaire video game designer and space mule
• 4001: A Space Odyseed is the name of Dr. Colbert's DNA sample

• Stephen prefers to be the top half if he is bred with an alien

InterviewEdit

• Maria Bartiromo
• Market sold off
  • everyone is worried that the banks need money
    • the banks now need capital because of the bad loans

• zombie stockbrokers
  • rule the night
  • feast on human flesh

• she advises relaxation

• stockholders of AIG did not get a bail out

• Dr. Colbert defines the free market

• the bigger the screw up the more likely you will receive a government bail out

• diversify
  • bury in the backyard and hide it in the mattress

• gold is okay

• punditry is always a good investment

EpilogueEdit

• Dr. Colbert is off to the Emmys, and wishes good luck to anyone who is "me"

GalleryEdit

Motherload VideosEdit

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External TubesEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit