The Colbert Report/Episodes/EpGuide/Episode 359

[edit] Production Info

Date:
March 3, 2008

Season:

Episode:
359

Production code:
4028

"I discuss the phenomenon of The Colbert Bump. If that sounds like a dance craze, that's because it should be!"

"Then the New York Philharmonic played North Korea. Luckily none of their instruments required electricity!"

"And my guest, Shashi Tharoor has written a book about the modernization of India! I wonder who they call for tech support?"

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it could be a terrorist.
Shoot it either way...This is The Colbert Report.

~ Stephen Colbert

March 3, 2008 The Colbert Report

Hillary Clinton's surge
New Obama scandal!
- media has not scrutinized Obama
- Shame on Barack Obama...for having the media not attack you!
  - Game's over!

Barack does not have the experience necessary to answer the phone at 3:00a.m.
Stephen's Jewish friend got a good get
- went mano-a-wo-mano
Hillary did not get The Colbert Bump
- Los Angeles Times
  - UC San Diego study candidates who appear receive 44% more money than candidates who don't

Kim Jong Il
- Liza Minelli's stand-in
- oil should be recovered from his hair
the New York Philharmonic visited without asking Dr. Colbert
- North Koreans now have our Philharmonic technology
- spicy pickled cabbage (opens Stephen up like cheap drano?)

Audience was government stooges
- conductor was used thought he was saying (give it up for my rhythm section)
Maestro Loren Maazel

author of The Elephant, the Tiger and The Cellphone (Stephen can't wait for them to all walk into a bar)