Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode Date: June 18, 2009 Season: Episode: 574 Production code: 5083 Next Episode

IntroEdit

Guantanamotel "AUDIO1" Sign 'Em If ou Got 'Em "AUDIO2" Stephen vs. Verses "AUDIO3" To make a long story short, give Joe Biden a sedative! This is The Colbert Report! ~ Stephen Colbert June 18, 2009 The Colbert Report

Contents 1 Production Info 2 Intro 3 SEGMENT1 4 SEGMENT2 5 SEGMENT3 6 Interview 6.1 Tea 7 Epilogue 8 Gallery 9 Official Truthy Videos 10 External Tubes 11 Reviews and Comments

SEGMENT1Edit

• Dr. Colbert needs The Heroes energy
  • he didn't sleep a wink last night
    • he kept thinking of a great American who will be sleeping eternally

• the fly killed by Obama
  • abuse of executive power

• Murder In The White House!
  • he now has 235 grandchildren

• PETA condemened the crack down
  • the rest of the media are silent?

• Stephen is not alone
  • Jeff Goldblum joined him to speak for flies

• been around for 65 million years
  • they have something to teach us

• all they want is to be loved and feed on our waste

• Goldblum demands
  • apologize for killing that fly
  • David Letterman's joke about Sarah Palin

SEGMENT2Edit

• Threat Down
• flies are the only thing

# 5 Gitmo detainees
# 4 Bermuda Palau

• relaxes of evil
  • released to Bermuda under a technicality
    • they were innocent

# 3 Tropical Uigers

• threaten Stephen's vacation

# 2 Gay animals

• dolphins are either gay or they've started summer camps
  • homosexuanimals
• takes cues for his behavior from animals; when courting a lady, he presents his swollen rear
• power of the Lord
  • hump a scuba diver like Jesus said

• guest edited Newsweek magazine

# 1 Donald H. Crosby of Springfield,

• asked
• Stephen is his biggest fan and all "Donald Crosbys"
  • DonaldCrosbyBoobsBoobsBoobs.com
• "I (heart) Donald H. Crosby" is shaved into Stephens hair and he's not going to show where

SEGMENT3Edit

• Obama unveiled a plan to eliminate risky investing
• Bears & Balls

• Swindling Indians?
• swindling immigrants?
• Tobacco!

• outlaw flavored cigarettes
• is tobacco still a good investment?
  • cough
  • light 'em up!

• meth-covered cigarettes?
• chocolate-covered meth cigarettes?
• video games!

• is it time to invest in Microsoft?
  • crash sound
  • will need to reboot
  • (scream) Yes!

• Not Project Natale(sp)
  • ex-X-Box
    • it's only $500, comes with a free set of clothes only smart people can see

• (scream) real estate

• New York graveyard
• should you get in on this new investment

• • ghostly laugh
  • ghostly "boos"
  • yes!

• We'll be right bees!

InterviewEdit

• Paul Muldoon
  • book: "Poems 1968 To 1998"
  • Pulitzer-prize winner poet, big deal Stephen has a black belt in haiku!

• poetry isn't the best paying profession

• he teaches poetry also

• the parents of poetry majors get angry with him

• why do we need poetry?
  • Hallmark covers everything:
    • love, sorrow, bar mitzvahs, to a special nephew

• metaphors are traps and lies
  • you cannot get away from them

• poetry helps us make sense of our lives

• poets can't make sense of their own lives

• read poetry at the White House
  • Obamas had a poetry slam

• Can Obama popularize poetry?
  • indication sense of how significant it is to our lives

• get more on television

TeaEdit

• Dr. Colbert ordered The Heroes to make Muldoon's poem "Tea" the number one poem in America

EpilogueEdit

• Dr. Colbert gives special thanks to Jeff Goldblum on "Law & Order: Criminal Intent"
  • and gave The Heroes a preview

GalleryEdit

Official Truthy VideosEdit

• Colbert Nation Home Tube
• Number Link Title
• Number Link Title
• Number Link Title
• Number Link Title
• Number Link Title
• Number Link Title

External TubesEdit

• [URL Link Title]
• [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit