Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode Date: June 16, 2009 Season: Episode: 572 Production code: 5081 Next Episode

IntroEdit

Teh Runoff "AUDIO1" Carnival Ruses "AUDIO2" Duke of Oil "AUDIO3" No sense beating a dead horse, unless it's one of those zombie horses! You can't beat them enough! This is The Colbert Report! ~ Stephen Colbert June 16, 2009 The Colbert Report

Contents 1 Production Info 2 Intro 3 SEGMENT1 4 SEGMENT2 5 Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz 6 Interview 7 Epilogue 8 Gallery 9 Official Truthy Videos 10 External Tubes 11 Reviews and Comments

SEGMENT1Edit

• lots of excitement in The Eagle's Nest
  • he doesn't blame them

• Dr. Colbert is riveted about the news overseas
  • Croatia claiming the record of the largest pair of blue jeans

• How can Eastern Blockheads take the record from the USA

• Dr. Colbert won't let them get away with this
  • he orders His Mob to take their pants off and pass them forward

• requiring one's audience to take off their pants is illegal

• set the record for the world's fastest class-action lawsuit

SEGMENT2Edit

• painting eggs is the traditional Iranian way to celebrate

• Mahmoud Ahmeni-here's Stepehn kicking him in the balls-ijad

• Mir Hussein-in-the-membrane Mousavi
  • wipes Israel off Google Earth (maps?)

• Mousavi supporters believe the election was stolen
  • third place finisher was Pat Buchanan, who's too anti-Israel even for Iran

• cut off Twitter

• Guardian Council ordered partial
  • just like Oprah, but with more beheadedness

• Mousavi is:
• conservative
• denies Israel
• defend taking hostages
• supported fatwah against Salman Rushdie
  • could be MLK of Iran
  • or Vidal Sassoon

• Obama needs to get in there and demand change

• if only Iran were a car company

• Stephen wants the US to interfere in an election

• Karim Sadjapour

• Did Ahmadinjad steal the election?
  • it was a gift

• he was originally elected to get Iran oil money

• who is in the streets?

• • 2/3 of population is under 30 years old
  • too young to remember the 1979 revolution

• not all progressives and intellectuals

• who is making the money?
  • who ever sells kubidah(?)

• Mousavi is considered more of a reformer than Ahmeni-not a reformer-ijad

• politicians may start wearing ties

Stephen Colbert's Balls for KidzEdit

• we all know it's summertime when
  • so few Americans have indoors

• no better way to enjoy the great outdoors than
  • inhaling go-cart dust
  • churro dust

• Teach-o-tainment series: Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz
  • Carnivals!

• there are different highness requirements for both the passengers and operators

InterviewEdit

• James E. Rodgers
  • CEO of Duke Energy
  • an energy co CEO in favor of clean coal

• confused by his PR
  • environmentalist energy company CEO

• his job one is to provide electricity
• Stephen never turns the lights out because that's when the ghosts come out
  • can see his house from space

• the US is in transition
  • 250,000 years of coal

• the US is the Saudi Arabia of coal!

• how to transition to a low carbon world?

• under the current definition of "clean" his company has no clean energy generating plants
  • cannot motorboat the top of the chimney
  • cannot take CO₂ out of emission

• third largest generator of electricity from coal
  • chickens on treadmills

• he gives lip service

• believes in global warming
  • it makes it clear what his assignment is

• must aspire to

• Carbon Sequestration (or carbon capture)
  • he cannot define anything to 6-year olds because he is a lawyer
  • commercialized it
  • bury the carbon in the earth and hope it doesn't escape

• The Rapture will fix the whole thing

EpilogueEdit

• Dr. Colbert wishes a solemn goodnight to The Heroes

GalleryEdit

Official Truthy VideosEdit

• Colbert Nation Home Tube
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External TubesEdit

• [URL Link Title]
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Reviews and CommentsEdit