Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode Date: May 19, 2009 Season: Episode: 560 Production code: 5069 Next Episode

IntroEdit

Richard Milhouse Fixin' "AUDIO1" Push Comes To Gov "AUDIO2" Kirn After Reading "AUDIO3" I don't like to brag; I love it! This is The Colbert Report! ~ Stephen Colbert May 19, 2009 The Colbert Report

Contents 1 Production Info 2 Intro 3 SEGMENT1 4 SEGMENT2 5 Difference Makers 6 Interview 7 Epilogue 8 Gallery 9 Official Truthy Videos 10 External Tubes 11 Reviews and Comments

SEGMENT1Edit

• few last kernles of popcorn

• misses the Bush Administration
• knew where you stood
  • • occasionally on a box holding electrodes

• Donald Rumsfeld on the cover of the latest issue of Gentlemen's Quarterly

• Whom shall I send, and who go for us
• had the full armor of God, they didn't need

• considered changing the Pentagon to the Jesus Fish

• Rumsfeld had to compete with Jesus' less than hawkish memos

SEGMENT2Edit

• Gallop poll has lost in nearly every demographic

• rebranding advice

• how can they look better
  • GOP wanted to make everything else look worse

• I Know You Are, But What Am I?

• renaming the Democrats as the Democra t Socialist Party

• GOP are rebranding healthcare
  • that means they had to have

• Luntz wrote a memo
  • government take over of health care

• Mom & Pop Massive Insurance Conglomerates

• The Mob loves insurance companies

• 33% under 30 thinks that socialism is better than capitalism

• Democrat Atheist?

• The Bad Party?
  • attract teenagers

• Stephen suggests that the Democrats be renamed The Republican Party

• when you've spent years destroying your own name,

Difference MakersEdit

• Dr. Colbert is no fan of regulation, who is the government to tell him not to yell "fire" in a theater?
  • how can Stephen market his line of portable fire extinguishers?

• pry his guns from his pretending to be fake dead hands

• unnecessary regulation

• Difference Makers
  • Stephen Keith[1]

• a canvas upon which to paint a character

• interactive theater
  • has done Renaissance Faire
  • Doc Holiday in Tombstone, Arizona

• new mayor shut down street show

• he won his trial

InterviewEdit

• Walter Kirn
  • book: "Lost in the Meritocracy: The Undereducation of an Overachiever"</i>
• has a new book that asks if higher education is failing our students; Dr. Colbert wants to know if high students are failing our education?

• Stephen will be his personal GPS System

• he learned that few
• overeducated? undereducated

• Ivy League Schools turn people into elites
  • it must be better because it costs more

• he says landscaping is better
  • they also serve quail

• anti-meritocracy
  • doesn't reward depth

• what gets rewarded
  • define words like insipiant(?)

• good at cocktail parties, but not competent

• Texas Rangers still exist

• haul up the ladder after he reaches the top

• what does he want out of education?
  • it is safer to be sending people to war, not going

• graduate knowing how to fix internal cumbustion engine
  • get along with people unlike themselves
  • know the diff between Iraq, Iran
  • know there's a diff between Sunni, Shia Muslims

• he attended Princeton

• his book is average
  • average among his 99% percentile
  • for The Heroes it's great!

EpilogueEdit

• Dr. Colbert closed with a hearty, "That's it for the show!"
  • by which he means his show

GalleryEdit

Official Truthy VideosEdit

• Colbert Nation Home Tube
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External TubesEdit

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Reviews and CommentsEdit