The Colbert Report/Episode/557
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
[edit] Production Info
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[edit] Intro
~ Stephen Colbert May 13, 2009 The Colbert Report
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[edit] The Gibbs-Plant Phone War
- Dr. Colbert took two swigs of Sierra Mist
- Stephen zip in his step today
- honeymoon between Obama administration and the press
- White House Press Briefing
- Dr. Colbert is with Robert Gibbs
- it's rude
- CBS Bill Plant took the call when his phone rang
[edit] Soda Tax
- Johnny Law wants to infringe
- Does not obey big government; he obeys his thirst
- Senate considering taxes on soda and sugary drinks
- You can have Stephen's soda when you pry it from his cold, diabetic hands
- it makes him sick to his stomach
- .25 cent tax per ounce on soda tax
- one of Dr. Colbert's better arguments (he burped; first time on television)
- soda causes obesity
- $127 billion in health cost
- people who drink soda are not fat; they're extreme!
- is it bad when your urine comes out carbonated?
- soft drink lobbyists say soda doesn't cause obesity
- things that are fun are never bad for you
- protest the soda tax
- learned from the Tea Baggers
- do not name it something that has a double meaning: Stephen Colbert's Coke Parties
[edit] Special Edition of Colbert Platinum
- it's no secret the super-wealthy keep the economy
- alabaster bidet puts 100x more people to work than whatever type of bidet
- Colbert Platinum!
- Norma's in Le Parker Meridien
- $1,000 omelet
- $3 eggs
- $60 lobster
- $650 caviar
- $287 potatoes
- comes with toast
- $1,000 omelet
- one thing sustained our ancestors when they came to Ellis Island
- Dr. Colbert did not dine and dash
Nino's Bellisima Pizza
- $1,000 pie
- served cold
- with shaved lobster
- and 8 ounces of caviar
- does not come with crazy bread
- it was one of the best $1,000 pizzas Dr. Colbert has ever had
- when he thinks pizza he thinks:
- room temperature
- fish roe (eggs)
- and cashing in the college fund
- Dr. Colbert burned off his lunch at Nino's by dashing over to Serendipity 3
Serendipity 3
- $1,000 sundae
- served with a gold spoon
- in a crystal goblet--lined with gold
- garnished with nuts dipped in gold
- featuring 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream covered in gold
- chocolates flown in from Italy
- candied fruit from Paris
- vanilla from Tahiti
- a Klondike bar would have to fly many times around the world to match the carbon footprint of this sundae
- they've sold one a month in the "good times"
- haven't sold one since November
- 24-carat edible gold is also sprinkled on top
- for another $1,000 Dr. Colbert could have a poor person watch him eat it
- could use more gold
[edit] Interview
- Michael Pollan
- so Dr. Colbert put razor wire around his plate
- Dr. Colbert offered him a can of Sierra Mist
- we should be attacking the food to protect ourselves
- is against American things, like American cheese
- it's processed
- Stephen doesn't want to undream the dream by reading the label
- synthesize breast milk for 150 years
- he was not breast fed
- Stephen demands he apologize to his mother (who was in the audience)
- we don't know enough about food
- our bodies know what to do with corn
- the set is made of corn
- the table tastes like a sun chip
- problem of deliciousness
- uses science in his book
- science has done things for Cheetos
- it's fun, it can't be bad for us
- once a week, not everyday
- he was busted in Berkeley buying fruity pebbles
- it's a capitol offense
- eat anything that is real
- cook it yourself
- less than 5 ingredients
- says Dr. Colbert has a pasty complexion
- but he has wavy hair
[edit] Epilogue
- Dr. Colbert wonders if you noticed the theme running through the show:
- Stephen Colbert is awesome!
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] Reviews and Comments
