Production InfoEdit

Previous Episode Date: February 25, 2009 Season: Episode: 518 Production code: 5027 Next Episode

IntroEdit

Yakety Barack "Obama's address to Congress, or at least what I could hear through bla-la-la-la-la-la-la!" Doomtown "And, my guest Mayor John Fetterman is offering up his bankrupt town for experiments! Sounds like a good place to move Gitmo!" It's Ash Wednesday! For Lent, I'm giving up listening! This is The Colbert Report! ~ Stephen Colbert February 25, 2009 The Colbert Report

Contents 1 Production Info 2 Intro 3 SEGMENT1 4 Eric Holder's speech 5 Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger 6 Interview 7 Epilogue 8 Gallery 9 Official Truthy Videos 10 External Tubes 11 Reviews and Comments

SEGMENT1Edit

• only rivaled by a giant Brad Pitt made of puppies
  • Bobby Jindal

• Stephen thought he was going to throw beads

• new rock star
  • Iggy Pop fat on free heroin day

• Volcano Monitoring
  • ruins the surprise
  • control volcano-- sacrifice a virgin (why they support Abstinence only sex-ed)

• Maglev between Disneyland and Vegas

• Democratic presponse
  • mutes all of Obama's speeches, so he can hear his own yelling

• Empty Platitude Hall of Fame
  • FDR's wheelchair
  • Taft's bathing suit
  • retired W's number

• speech was a stinker

• Twitter
• post short text messages that everyone can see
• Members of Congress tweeted during Obama's speech
  • Michael C. Burgess
  • Jared Polis
  • Robert Byrd

Eric Holder's speechEdit

• • to justice department employees

• he called Stephen Colbert a coward
  • strong words

• Tonight's word
  • Ablacknophobia

• takes courage not to talk about race

• not talking about race takes concentration to see a stereographic image

• Reverend Wright talks about race

• The KKK also talk about race all the time
  • it hasn't helped

• Dr. Colbert will talk about race while passing his hand over an open flame
  • There were no black people at my Super Bowl party!
• talk frankly about rap music while eating dollar store peanut butter
  • can't stand all the shouting
  • confusing: is a shorty a baby or the woman who had the baby?

• Eric Holder is really talking about having a one-on-one conversation about race

• Duke
  • dialogue about race while Duke covers him with tarantulas

• Duke says it's fine to be black

• Duke doesn't read the post

• Duke didn't lack opportunities while growing up
  • got a sweet spider job

• Stephen apologized for slavery so Duke would take the tarantula off his head
  • didn't lay eggs in Stephen's hair

• Stephen owes Holder an apology
  • he's welcome to come on The Report to talk about race as long as Stephen can cover him with spiders

Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger Edit

• Wag- gorillas
  • early humans got lice from gorillas

• Wag- Gandhi
  • huge hypocrite
  • auctioning his pocket watches, glasses and $20,000 - $30,000 sandals

InterviewEdit

• John Fetterman
• mayor of Braddock, Pennsylvania
  • Official Webtube
• mayor who is offering up his bankrupt town for experiments
  • Stephen doesn't know why they didn't just put on a show!

• Braddock has no tarantulas

• it is bankrupt
• population 20,000 to 3,000

• he looks like he received a dose of gamma radiation

• loss as bad as New Orleans after Katrina, but over decades
  • steel left the area

• average house price is $6,200

• wants the stimulus

• wants to open a Colbert Museum
• lots of French and Indian reenactors

• will give Stephen a key to the city
  • they leave it open nowadays

• trying to bring a Subway sandwich shop to town
  • for jobs
  • a place to eat

• social justice and equity

• Dr. Colbert looked into the camera and demanded GOP governors who don't want the money to give it to Mayor Fetterman

EpilogueEdit

• Dr. Colbert reminds The Heroes that if you are still watching analogue TV; you can't see this.
  • He then recommends us to take action!

GalleryEdit

This is an abbreviated gallery. For the full gallery, click here

Official Truthy VideosEdit

• Colbert Nation Home Tube
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External TubesEdit

• [URL Link Title]
• [URL Link Title]

Reviews and CommentsEdit