The Colbert Report/Episode/515
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
[edit] Production Info
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| Date:
February 12, 2009
| Season:
| Episode:
515
| Production code:
5024
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| The program started without a Statement of Truthiness
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[edit] Happy Birthday, Abe!
- Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday
- one of our greatest Presidents
- Stephen is the only one who can wish Lincoln in person
- lead His Mob in a stirring rendition of "Happy Birthday"
- America's Greatest Non-Reagan President
- Dr. Colbert removes the stovepipe hat to replace it ...
- ... and discovers Lincoln was a unicorn!
- Mary Todd wasn't crazy after all
[edit] Another Obama Scandal
- more popular than Ferraro's poster by Georgia O'Keefe
- Manny Garcia took the original photo
- all this legal talk confuses him
- almost as bad as the last time he watched "Wheel of Fortune"
- Pat Sajak needs to stop playing mind games
- Stephen's gut tells him that everyone is right, he has no idea who to support
- to help former Dir of Whitney Museum David Ross
- former SF Museum of Modern Art
- he says Fairey has the right to do what he did
- he says Stephen could take Mona Lisa
- resident copyright lawyer, Dr. Colbert's brother Ed
- copyright lawyer with Kenyan & Kenyan, LLP
- asks Ross if the original photographer has rights too
- Manny has to say it's art
- Ed says Kitty is fine; she's in the audience
- test for copyright is original, unique
- does Obama have any claims on it
- public figure cannot control the use of their image
- Ross calls Stephen a commercial public figure
- Ed will get a drink after the show
- Obama has two rights
- Ed defended AP, photographer and Obama without distinction
- he only believes who ever pays him is right
- believes Shepard Fairey is right
- Dr. Colbert has been gifted with an arcane
- American Psychiatric Society calls it schizophrenia; Stephen calls it The DaColbert Code
- Who killed John F. Kennedy?
- Oscar Night
- last time, Dr. Colbert predicted them all
- He's never seen the movies; he's only seen the posters outside the theater while he's protesting
- Best Actor
- Sean Penn, no, no (Dr. Colbert won't have it)
- they could give it to the Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- take all the bailout money and bet it in the White House Oscar pool
[edit] UPDATE (from the future)
On Oscar night (February 23, 2009)
- Dr. Colbert did indeed pick all the winners, since Sean Penn did win and when he was onstage he mentioned Mickey Roarke.
[edit] Interview
- his theory that Darwin assassinated Lincoln
- he argues Lincoln and Darwin
- looking back we can see how
- Stevie Wonder and Stephen share the same birthday
- what they have in common with us
- claims Darwin had a spiritual side
- his wife was an Evangelical
- Darwin wrote On the Origin of Species to convince his wife
- wrote his book that spiritual people needn't be threatened
- Stephen is very tolerant of his wife's beliefs
- how Lincoln changed the way liberal democracies can defend themselves
- Republicans believes at that time was spreading rights
- many people helped things change in addition to Darwin and Lincoln
- dispute what the last words said over Lincoln's body on his death bed
- now he belongs to the angels or ages
[edit] Epilogue
- Dr. Colbert didn't see us come back from commercial, because TV works in only one direction
- Conan O'Brien is moving to LA to host Tonight Show
- loves his zany characters
- FedEx Pope
- Coked-up Werewolf
- Andy Richter
- Stephen stole the invisible strings to do his little pocket dance
- if he ever wants to do his dance again, he has to come back to New York and get his strings back
- watch Conan's show every night ...
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