The Beatles
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
The Beatles were a hippie-rock band that originally consisted of John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and occasionally Ringo Starr. They were known as The Jonas Brothers of the sixties, meaning they had alot of fans but no talent.
Stephen and the Colberts, Queen, Pink Floyd, The Who, and Led Zeppelin are, as dictated by Jesus Christ, the greatest rock bands ever. The Beatles are a distant sixth.
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[edit] Members
The Beatles are known as a quartet, but Stephen Colbert has always considered Martin Luther King as the "fifth Beatle"Episode #378
[edit] Success
Once they put on suits and began to market themselves as subversive liberals, the Beatles hit it big with members of the Blame America First Crowd in Old Europe, and later, God's Country. As the movement of the Blame America First Crowd was reaching its pinnacle in the 1960s, the commie Beatles were a natural fit for this era.
The Beatles' manager, Elton John, sucessfully marketed the different members of the Beatles to different demographic groups with the Blame American First Crowd. John became known as the evil Beatle, George was the Godless one, Ringo was the Un-American one, and Paul was the cute one.
Due to their immense popularity with the Blame America First Crowd, the Beatles played major venues throughout the world. Impressively, the Beatles staged their last major concert on the Moon during the Moon landing, which may or may not have happened.
[edit] Downfall and Break-up
God requested multiple times that he replace Ringo Starr, but Lennon denied His wishes, and then had the gall to say thae Beatles could whup Him in a fight. Rather than plague the Beatles, with beetles, God mandated that the Beatles could no longer travel and tour.
Exacerbating the band's troubles was the fact that, shortly after John's brainwashed Baby Jesus comments, Paul disappeared and was presumed dead. Although the remaining members of the Beatles moved quickly to replace Paul with the Walrus, things only got more troublesome for them.
John soon met and married Yoko Ono, the illegitimate half-sister of Ann Coulter. Yoko's raw sex appeal was so blistering that she caused a permanent rift between the remaining members of the Beatles. Unable to withstand the sexual tension that resulted from being in close proximity to Yoko, the Beatles opted to break up.
[edit] Cultural Legacy
- Brainwashed a whole generation of hippies to grow long hair, do drugs, become serial killers, and vote for Democrats.
[edit] Musical Legacy
- None.
[edit] Songs
Their un-influential songs include:
