American Dream

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.

The American Dream is the symbolic goal of all good Americans. Bad, heretical "Americans" also claim to pursue the American Dream, but all good heroes know those are, in fact, nightmares.

Perfect frozen American Dreams. Available now from New England hippies near you!

The American Dream is available to everyone, as long as they know where their bread is buttered. This availability is brought to you by the letter "V" and the number 1.

Contrary to what some Hate America Firsters lead you to believe, The Dream is usually very affordable and always for sale. Most recently it has been refined into delicious ice cream and sold in small Colbert-endorsed tubs. God bless capitalism!

[edit] Popular American Dreams

Owning a home
Voting Republican
Becoming CEO of a ~~profiteering~~ profitable company like Halliburton
Starring in a buddy movie with Jesus or Stephen Colbert
Nailing Charlene
Destroying all bears
Buying gas

[edit] False American Dreams

Horrible "chick flick" movies written by dyslexic Hollywood liberals and starring Hugh Grant
The American Dream being bought by the Chinese and serviced by job-stealing illegal immigrants