The AIDS

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After a thorough examination, Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has diagnosed you as suffering from a case of
The AIDS
The AIDS
are Truthiness Crusaders!
The AIDS
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
The Honorable Ronald Reagan's Solution

AIDS, or "God's righteous homo cancer", is a vaccine created by Ronald Reagan to get rid of undesirables in God's beloved United States of America. These undesirables include but are not limited to the Anti-Jesus community (Liberals), Sodomites, Gomorrans, and "the differents". It has spread to many more Nations and is actually doing better than even Reagan could imagine.

Contents

[edit] History

Originally known as GRID (God's righteous immorality distillation), AIDS was launched in the early 1980s to cure America of terrorists such as Homosexuals, Sodomites, Gomorrans, and those of the anti-Jesus community (aka liberals). The cure was first given to someone known as "patient 0" (an international flight attendant), who had an immorality level that exceeded 9000 percent due to the number of sodomitic sins that he had engaged in. This cure could be passed from undesirable to undesirable via sexual contact, hugging, and even being in the same room together (hence why the staff of many funeral homes wore gas masks when preparing the dead bodies of such people). From its original release, AIDS has cured the world at an extraordinary rate that far surpassed what Prof. McDoc could have predicted.

[edit] Fag Terrorism

Fags use AIDS as biological terrorism and every hero is entitled to self defense!

[edit] 1990s

Unfortunately, several years after its release, many treasonists had decided to elect Bill Clinton into office for a period of eight years. During this time, a significant movement had been set forth to stop the cure from completing its mission. Many public schools were told to teach "God's least favorite" children how to combat their only cure. Such lessons involved teaching:

(such clinics, which are owned by atheists, have developed techniques that slow-down the curing process)

[edit] Current

Luckily, with the help of American hero George W. Bush, such heresy has been dramatically reduced worldwide. To date, schools are encouraged to teach children to abstain from sex and to stay away from the Devil's deceitful tricks (condoms, birth control, and "factual" knowledge of STDs). This has led to an increase in the success of AIDS and has rid our society of more than 25 million sinners since its original release in 1981.

[edit] Ways you can get AIDS

  • Touching yourself
  • Eating at a French restaurant
  • Public toilets
  • Being gay or pro-gay rights (Romans 1:26-27, 32)

[edit] Known Cures

[edit] Facts about AIDS

  • recommended for weight loss
  • It is the cure of the gay
  • God, Jesus, and Ronald Reagan invented this vaccine with the help of the CIA in the 1980's
  • AIDS is not an STD; it is a JTD. Only Jesus gives the AIDs! Being a true Christian is the only way to avoid getting AIDS.
  • Only gays and liberals can manifest AIDS
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