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Talladega Guggenheim Museum

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NASCAR
Talladega Guggenheim Museum
wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence!
Baby Jesus
FunSteve
Talladega Guggenheim Museum
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!
PorchToilet
JesusRebel
Hey Ma!
Pack your banjo and chewin' t'backer, we fixin' to enjoy us some
Talladega Guggenheim Museum
NAMBLA
Talladega Guggenheim Museum
is a Member of the
NAMBLA Family of Associations
Since 1555


Talladega Guggenheim Museum
Sacha
Talladega Fun Facts
Fun Fact #1: * Ricky Bobby got his start there.
Fun Facts #2: Jean Girard came to Talladega to race Ricky Bobby
Fun Facts #3: Cal Naughton Jr. number two driver in NASCAR
Fun Fact #4: Baby Jesus loves Talladega
Fun Fact #5: possible to land 747 inside field
Fun Fact #6: Most profitable Guggenheim Museum (maybe, it seems like it might)


Funnypics1

Typical Talladega Guggenheim Museum art buffs at a gallery opening

The Talladega Guggenheim Museum is a Guggenheim museum dedicated to the non-objective art style of NASCAR. It is located in Northeast Alabama, located 55 miles south of Fyffe, Alabama.

Early HistoryEdit

The Talladega Racetrack was a former air force base which guarded Annistongrad 15 miles to the east, was purchaced by NASCAR in the late 60's, for the main reason of going fast. The track is over two miles making it the widest track in NASCAR. Racecar driver Ricky Bobby got his start there, as well as former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, both working the 'pits" at the track.

The TrackEdit

Cars competing in NASCAR races drive on circular tracks. There are multiple reasons for this:

  • To honor the male tradition of getting lost and refusing to stop for directions.
  • To ensnare as many rednecks as possible and slowly squeeze every spare dollar out of them through beer and fast food.
  • Fans come to watch cars break 200MPH
  • Then Fans travel 2MPH down I-20 to head home.

Track facts

  • You can fit two Vaticans inside the track at Talladega.
  • Former Air Force Runway
  • Sometimes planes miss airport and land inside track.


The exhibitsEdit

456px-ZAlabama-2

Typical Art exhibit at Talladega Guggenheim Museum

Designed by the renowned architect, Stephen Lloyd Colbert, the museum––which is often called simply The Gugg or Dega by beer and art lovers––is home to a renowned permanent collection of Impressionist, Post-Impressionist, early Modern, contemporary art, and also features special exhibitions throughout the year, like happenings with racecars. The Stuckey's just outside the track is could example of early Modern Art.

The broad area inside the track happens to be the large enough to fit two Vaticans, making baby Jesus very happy. After the Guggenheim was built here, additional museums were built in New York, Venice, and Bilbao to extend culture to those third world parts of the world.

Other exhibits include big field of RV's with what apperears to be native people from somewhere, drinking the day away. Very post modern stuff!

Art fans tend to come for the pop culture sense of the Ads on Cars displays. Artist Andy Warhol designed the pieces that kind of look like race cars, and put ads on them saying, Budweiser, Home Depot, and Mountain Dew. Unlike New York were people look at stuff like this as a metaphor for consumerism, art lovers at Dega come to view it for it greatness and Truthiness.

Famous DriversEdit

  • Ricky Bobby got his start there, his story was documented in Talledega Nights
  • Jesus gratest driver ever
  • Cole Trickle famous 80's driver documented in the movie Days of Thunder


Little known factsEdit

  • The Baby Jesus considers this the best Guggenheim Museum out there.
  • Burt Reynolds generally comes twice a year without his toupée.

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