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Superman

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"Superman"
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"Superman"
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Superman is, according to Stephen Colbert, the best superhero ever. Superman is quite possibly the smartest superhero ever, disguising himself as the farthest thing from a hero... a journalist. Most people believe Superman stands for "Truth, Justice and the American Way," but in factiness, it's "Truthiness, Justicity and the Badass American Way."

Of course, this only applies to the version of Superman in the Silver Age. Golden Age Superman was a liberal who beat up poor buisnessmen who just wanted to save money by building super-death rays!

Superman is also known to have another, better, Alter Ego: Stephen Colbert!

Superman Facts Edit

Goldenagesuperman
A picture of Golden Age Superman.
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  • Superman is a reformed "Dead Beat Dad".
  • Loves to "love 'em and leave 'em"
  • Shaves by bouncing his heat vision off of a mirror back onto his "super stubble".
  • Wore the same outfit for 5 years straight.
  • His fecal matter sample currently powers the west coast of The United States.
  • Is a renowned lead mining union buster.
  • Urinates into empty space to avoid ten times daily seismic events.
  • Known to go on camping trips with Batman
  • Is a bonified "Dapper Dan Man".
  • Has an extremely weak sperm launching mechanism, which will not kill a human female receiver.
  • Originally left earth just to spite Phil Collins.
  • Proves God's existence as well as Newton's roaring stupidity with gravity defying flight.
  • Had nothing to do with Hitler's reverse engineering experiments.
  • And number 10, he's a big David Letterman fan.
  • Superman has the Colbert Report programmed on TiVo so he doesn't miss an episode while fighting crime
  • Superman has Stephen Colbert as his top friend (as should EVERYONE) on MySpace Facebook
  • Superman is a commie!
  • Superman doesnt like black people, just saying
  • Refuses to show his birth certificate

Controversies Edit

Like all beloved heroes, Superman does endure his share of scandal. It has been alluded that he is an illegal immigrant and supports amnesty. There is also allegations that proper adoption paperwork was not filed back in 1947 with his surrogant parents, Bubba and Martha Kent of Smallville, Kansas.

Critics claim Superman is not the best superhero ever. Some claim he may be the worst superhero, due to his God-like powers that are negated conveniently by kryponite from time to time.

Others have cited a general media bias toward Superman. When in a footrace around the world with The Flash, experts still say the "photo finish" was in Flash's favor, but Supe's association with The Daily Planet newspaper turned public opinion in his favor.

Whatever one's opinion of the man, it is helpful to note that Superman is a fictional creation and belief in him is as silly as believing in unicorns, eskimos and Pro-Choice Activists. Superman has a small testicles due to the overuse of steroids.

Despite living in the USA, Superman had been co-created by a Canadian. Created by American writer Jerry Siegel and Canadian-born artist Joe Shuster in 1932 Superman was supposed to stand for "Truth Justice and the American Way". But one cannot help but notice some Canadian influence on the Golden Age Superman, which made him a Liberal.

Superman defected and he is now British. a space mooslim.

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