Stephen Colbert's Guardian Eagles
is just one of the many gifts the Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
has bestowed upon all of humankind. Thank you Dr. Colbert, thank you.

"Stephen Colbert's Guardian Eagles"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.

Stephen Colbert's Guardian Eagles are an all-volunteer army of vigilante chaperones who protect the virtue of our nation's impressionable young women.

Their mission: to protect our country's moral standards at all pre-proms, proms, and after proms.

Founding MembersEdit

• Killer

See AlsoEdit

• Dating
• Purity Balls