Smokey The Bear
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
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Oh sure, the Forest Service claims to have deprogrammed him from his rampaging, murderous instincts, but in reality, this 'harmless' jeans-wearing ursine has been burying the mutilated carcasses of his victims with the shovel he is so often pictured with. He is not to be trusted. It is a matter of speculation how many people he had to maul in order to get 'his' hat, as reported on the Report of Earth Attacks, GA Drought (@ 2:17) .
Contents |
[edit] Smokey Factoids
- His fur is highly flammable
- Uses his razor sharp claws to scratch safety matches
- 'Smokey' loves the reefer
- He is, in fact, a closet arsonist.
- He's the one who starts the fires.
- He's Canadian!
[edit] Recent Activity
- The Colbert Report broke the story that 'Smokey' is implicated with current Sneak Attacks on Nature, most likely the Southern Californian forest fires.See story in Report of Earth Attacks, GA Drought
[edit] Stephen's Suggested Replacement
An icon of fire prevention should love humans and be moist, so Stephen has created Smokey The Dolphin (not to be confused with Porpy).
[edit] Arsonist the Bear
This is the only know photo of a bear that started a mega blaze in California.
