Keep smiling and don't make any sudden movements.
By watching you, we're protecting you.

If a tree falls in the forest and there was no one around to see the elite force of secret attack beavers who took it down, there was no tree.

Secret CIA Prisons, if they even exist, are none of our business. And if they were secret, they aren't any longer.

Irresponsible new outlets like The New York Times and The Washington Post need to know that secrets like these are kept for a reason: They're really depressing. So stop digging fellas, there's plenty of depressing news around without you going and 'investigating.'

The question raised is, why are you reading this? Why do you need to know about Secret CIA Prisons? You had better not be a terrorist, or Michael Moore.

Fun FactsEdit

• There is not a Secret Prison on Mount Rushmore in Theodore Roosevelt's mouth^{Episode #279}