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Rick Perry

I am Rick Perry and and my lawyer swears I'm not a

Rick Perry
is Very Manly™.

Rick Perry is the Governor of Texas, a Real American Hero, and, thanks solely to the Colbert Bump, the next President of the United States.

Texas IndependenceEdit

Rick Perry believes that the government that governs least, governs best — and proved it every day of his tenure as Texas Governor by taking a record number of days off, putting his lieutenant governor in charge of day-today business, and letting the free market create mostly government jobs jobs. Plus, he knew that it would be wasteful to spend tax moneuy on fire ad safety workers when, as everyscientist on his payroll knows, all you need to put out wildfires is the power of prayer. As his pappy used to say, "It'll rain eventually."

Rick Perry: The New President of The Texan RepublicEdit

As President of Texas, Rick Perry has promised that he will become more powerful than Obama, raise an army and take over Washington, DC.

Ricky Perry received an excellent edjukashun proving that anyone can be President. And he will kill to become President of America, I am not kidding.

Rick Perry and The Free MarketEdit

Long ago Mr. Rick Perry was fighting the evil teachers who were too lazy and too liberal to trust. So he came up with a plan to set up a free market system to kill them all, but as always the liberal media made a big deal out of it. If Perry's plan had worked, all of us would be rich by now.

PerrygirlEdit

Like all politicians, Rick Perry has found his own Perrygirl, who's 10 times hotter than that treasonous skank Obama Girl. Do we even know if Obamagirl was actually born in America?

Rick Perry's Three Step Plan:Edit

Rick Perry has promised that he has big plans, great plans, to change America. First he will cut socialized medicine, second he will reform Medicare, and then... errr... mmm...

Anyway, you get the idea.

TraitorEdit

Rick Perry wont be President of Real America.

External TubesEdit

• Rick Perry to lose annual income
• Rick Perry asks citizens for loan to buy new bootstraps
• Rick Perry hates bailouts, but loves free money
• Perry is so NOT gay
• Texas to Honor Real American Hero
• The Fundamentals of Texas' Economy are Still Strong. Obama to blame for Lack of Fundamentals
• Rick Perry Shoot Out with teh law commies and injuns
• Texas brings evidence that science is evil
• Rick Perry Wins Award: "Fiscalnator of The Year"
• Rick Perry to throw a Coke Party with free money! He even provides hookers!!
• Rick Perry to invade Mexico
• Perry is no pussy, will get hard on crime
• God runs for 2012. Lazy politician refuses to lift a finger
• Rick Perry executes dangerous arsonist
• How Rick Perry will bring back God into America
• Libural Lesbian talks bad about Rick Perry's mission to save America
• Rick Perry to convert the unbelievers into voters
• Rick Perry to execute dangerous criminal: Black
• Rick Perry to introduce a free market fire control policy. Socialist firefighters need no apply
• Perry's adviser brings knife into a gun fight. Fired for being a wuss. Real Texans use guns.
• Rick Perry to invade Mexico. Bout time we kick those damn Mexicans out of Mexico