The Republican Party is the best party to have ever existed. That's why it's called the GOP (Grand Old Party). Founded by Jesus Christ, it is a God-fearing, capitalist party. It is primarily composed of corporate executives, pastors, church-goers, heterosexuals, the white upper-middle class, and all sane freedom-loving peoples. There is a rumor circulating of a homosexual African-American Republican, but most agree that it is hearsay.

Republicans are also God's secret agents.

Contents 1 Main Republican Beliefs 2 Notable Things done by Republicans 3 Important Texts Supported by Jesus 4 See Also 5 Internets Sources

Main Republican Beliefs Edit

Excerpts from the 2004 Republican National Convention!

1. The tablets are working.
2. Dr Strangelove was right.
3. Shoot first,
4. George Bush is one and the same person. both of him
5. Sarah Palin is both attractive, right, and intelligent.
6. Bill Clinton, the worst president ever, was appointed by devil
7. The right to own a twenty room mansion, three SUVs, a yacht, and a private jet, without having to pay taxes on them, is guaranteed in the Constitution.
8. Illegal Aliens should be dealt with strictly, unless they are currently cleaning a Republican's house.
9. While the television show, "The Simpsons" is rather stupid, their neighbor makes a rather lot of sense.
10. Homeless people want to be homeless.
11. باراك أوباما yes the Antichrist.
12. Or Hillary Clinton
13. The "D" next to a candidate's name means "Don't vote for me."
14. Sex is immoral unless it's with your spouse, another woman, a homosexual in/near an airport, any Asian

• the one that's NOT the same sex as you

Notable Things done by Republicans Edit

• Defeat the British
• George Michael's Falatio,
• Win World War II. All this FDR mumbo-jumbo is a conspiracy of the Liberal Media. Regean won the War.
• Stop the unfair taxation of Billianore CEO's
• Discover Hawaii
• Built the Tahj Mahal
• Killed Hitler
• Distrust anything, everything, all of it, and the rest

Important Texts Supported by JesusEdit

• The Bible
• The Second Amendment

See AlsoEdit

• United States Republican Party

Internets SourcesEdit

• History of the Republican War on Gays
• Complete Republican Moral Teachings and Traditional Family Values
• How to be a good Republican
• Politics is like High School!
• GOP to party like it's 2001