The Word of God

The Holy Bible The 10 Commandments The Gospels The Jew Testament The Left Behind Series

Acceptable Flavors of Christianity

Catholicism Fundamental Christianity Evangelical Christianity Southern Baptist Truthieism Americanism

Acceptable Holidays

Easter Christmas National Day of Prayer Patriot Day Ronald Reagan's Birthday Stephen Colbert's Birthday

God's Immortal Friends

Holy Spirit Jesus Ronald Reagan's Ghost

God's Mortal Friends

Stephen Colbert George W. Bush The Pope Ralph Reed Jerry Falwell Fred Phelps Pat Robertson Jimmy Swaggart John Hagee John Ashcroft Betty Bowers

A word describing the many ways one can accept Jesus as their savior, though some pagans like to use the term for nominating their satanist cults. Sometimes, 'religion' is also referred to as "church", such as in church & state. Some theologists define religion as a belief held by a certain group of people. Some of them argue that it is the only way for a society to keep from collapsing. It's proven that the society won't colapse as long as the society follows the Christian religion. Pagan countries such as North Korea, Iran, and Syria live in dystopia because they aren't Christians and are going to Hell. In general, it is encouraged that people follow whatever religion or faith they choose; there are infinite paths to Accepting Jesus Christ as Your Personal Lord and Savior.

Recently, theologists have defined that there are only four religions in the world: Christians (the only true and real religion), Mormons, Pagans, and Atheists. These religions can be divided in two groups: "going to heaven" (Christians) and "going to Hell!" (pagans and atheists). Mormons have the right to go to haven, but they can take only one wife with them.

Contents 1 Acceptable Paths To Accept Jesus Christ As Your Personal Lord And Savior 2 So-Called "Religions" 3 Team Jesus Vs Team Mohammed (Vs Team Gaylord) 3.1 Team Jesus: 3.2 Team Mohammed: 3.3 (Team Gaylord): 4 External Tubes

Acceptable Paths To Accept Jesus Christ As Your Personal Lord And SaviorEdit

• Stephen Colbert
• Christianity
• Fundamental Christianity
• Evangelical Christianity
• Southern Baptist
• certain forms of Catholicism
• The One True Religion
• Matrixism (recommended for Muslim jihadists)
• Truthieism

So-Called "Religions"Edit

Membership in the following will certainly Condemn You to Hell:

• Bearism
• Jewism
• Moo-slim
• That Lasagna-based Religion
• That Cow "Religion" From India
• That Fat-Guy "Religion" From China, or whatever
• Voo-doo
• That Goth-chick "Religion"
• Madonna's Jew-ism
• Judy-ism
• The Partridge Family Temple
• $cientology on The Internets
• $cientology on Wikiality.com
• The Church of The Holy Couch-Jumper

Team Jesus Vs Team Mohammed (Vs Team Gaylord)Edit

Team Jesus:Edit

• America has the biggest Jesus Fan Base: +1
• Jesus has the largest merchandise deal since George Lucas: +1
• Jesus recognizes all Christian denominations (yes, even Jehovah's Witnesses): -1 (sorry, no religion that accepts Jehovah Witnesses deserves a point)
• Witch-hunts, inquisitions, the reformation: -1 (on their defense they were still a young and naive religion, with lingering cultish attachments, and a hostility toward anything pagan)

Team Mohammed:Edit

• Islam is a very young religion ready to take over the world (and scare the sh#t out of white America): +1
• Muhammed failed to get a merchandise deal so no likeness of him can be printed, just because Mohammed didn't want to be worshiped as a God: -1 (what a pussy)

(Team Gaylord):Edit

• Religious Harmony: -1000 (gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay)

External TubesEdit

• lubral wymin who wont follow religion
• How religion works
• How religion is helping the free market and saving us from teh geys liberals