Red Stater

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Gnomes hard at work...

A Red Stater is an American living in a red state, or a state that has been painted red by small gnomes (see NASA satellite photograph at left). One side-effect of the gnomes' choice of red is that the people living in these states develop a strong desire to vote for real American candidates, and not for terrorists, as people in the states painted blue seem to want to do.

Red Staters are completely trustworthy to the point that you should allow them to choose what is best for you. Red Staters try at all costs to follow the example of Stephen Colbert, the perfect Red Stater.

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