Purity Balls

From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia

"Purity Balls"
has been approved for use in the "Leave No Child's Behind Abstinent Only"
Abstinence-Training Curriculum.
Using this tube of the internets will preserve your virginality.

"Purity Balls"
is a part of Wikiality.com's dictionary, "Watch What You Say". For the full dictionary, click here.

Purity Balls are a celebration of God's love in which a child^[1] pledges her virginality to her Father in a mock-wedding ceremony. This is not creepy, or in any way weird.

A typically non-creepy, completely undisturbing image of Father and Daughter at a Purity Ball.

[edit] Usage

To understand what a Purity Ball is and why you would want one for your child, one must understand the etymology (or root) of the phrase.

Etymology

• Purity the cleanliness of a given person or object

• Balls: from the Southern tradition of displaying one's property before placing it on market.

[edit] Purity Proclamation

A "purity band"

Every Christian girl must display her purity prominently. One approved method is to wear a "purity band" made of silver and inscribed with a passage from The Holy Bible:

"God wants you to be holy, so you should keep clear of all sexual sin. Then each of you will control your body and live in holiness and honour.

~ The Holy Bible, Thessalonians 4:3-4

Non-Christians have been plotting to ban the sacred bauble from public display.

[edit] Footnotes

1. ↑ This ceremony is only necessary for the female children, or "girls". Boys do not need to enter into a ceremony with their mothers.

[edit] External Links

• Would you pledge your virginity to your father?

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