Not the type of pirate you were hoping to find? Well, then, you probably ought to look here.

Pirates (PIE-rat) are a race of mythological aquatic humanoids created by Liberals and Communists to support their hair-brained theories of global warming and evolution and to celebrate their hatred of Our Lord and Savior.

Fascist propaganda tells stories about pirates celebrating larceny, alcoholism, and poor speech habits, all known properties of Liberals (created in their own image, one would say).

Contents 1 Pirates Have Their Own Special Day! 2 Who Chooses To Become A Pirate And Why 3 Where One Can Find A Pirate 4 How To Spot A Pirate 5 Famous Pirates 6 What Pirates Do During Working Hours 7 What Pirates Do in Their Spare Time 8 Famous Series of Tubes Pirates 9 See Also 10 External Tubes

Pirates Have Their Own Special Day!Edit

• Avast Ye Libruls!

Who Chooses To Become A Pirate And WhyEdit

• Notes
• This terrible criminal

Where One Can Find A PirateEdit

How To Spot A PirateEdit

Some recognizable traits of Pirates include:

• cybernetic augmented arms and legs
• eye patches
• pet birds
• jet packs
• excessive use of the word "poop-deck"
• Anyone who uses Limewire
• Somali pirates are known to smell of poop[1]

Famous PiratesEdit

• Black Beard, a famous fearsome pirate
• Captain Hook, a famous pedo-pirate
• Sean Fanning, a famous music pirate
• Robert Reed, a famous heiny pirate
• Ted Haggard, a famous reverend/butt pirate
• Captain Jack Swallow, the most famous butt pirate

What Pirates Do During Working HoursEdit

• Sail the Series of Tubes
• Loot
• plunder
• pillage
• rape
• water sports
• knitting
• baked goods
• book sales
• fight
• run away
• crochet
• play cricket
• watch The Daily Show
• wrestle
• organized protests
• disorganized protests
• knot tying
• get defeated by Ninjas
• butt sex
• Drink Rum

What Pirates Do in Their Spare TimeEdit

• Vote Democrat
• Being awesome
• Being awesomer
• watch Project Runway
• comb each other's hair
• enhance their eye patches and scabbards with glitter and beads (pre-Bedazzler™)
• eat beef jerky
• watch an inconvenient truth with Al Gore
• download music
• provide a front for the CIA
• destroy the lives of hard working Americans Jub Creators
• raid and destroy the profits of hard working corporations.
• steal books from the tubes.

Famous Series of Tubes PiratesEdit

A Call for War: The Internet Pirates are coming

• Fred-Merle "Polka Dot": Famously plundered the city Warren by selling illegal DVDs... of Polka Music... what?... really?!

See Also Edit

• Dinosaurs
• Pastafarian
• Letters of Marque and Reprisal
• Internets-Americans

External TubesEdit

• Swedish Pirates Captured
• Pirates seize Swedish government!!
• Russia is selling "Letters of Marque" to rich bastards Entrepreneurial Russians to hunt pirates! And they said they would never learn the benefits of Capitalism...[2]
• Pirates Invade Canada!
• Pirates Steal Series of Tubes
• Gay Pirate Holiday comes again this year
• Butt pirates invades Germany
• Pirates continue to plunder helpless music industry
• Pirates Vs Ninjas Al Qaeda
• Homeland Security seizes Internet Pirates
• Hard Working Hollywood producers and studios tired of being robbed by Pirates
• How Series of Tube Pirates are harming National Security
• How pirates are hurting the economy
• Corporations prepares long fight against Internet Pirates
• How Internet Pirates are hurting our economy
• Internet Pirates invades the British Island
• MPAA to Shut Down Google for Stealing their Internet Money!
• activist judge protects pirates
• Internet pirates refuses to hand over his gold and his unicorn
• another life ruined by Internet Pirates
• Pirates want to steal our children
• Pirates continue to haunt Hollywood
• Internet Pirates now reading our secret documents, profits at risk!
• Zombie Pirates continue their copyright plunder
• Zombie pirates return!
• How civil liberties are hampering our profits
• Commies trying to steal our internet
• Smart pirate hackers tricks authorities
• Corporations to finally kill the internet!