Pirates

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"Pirates"
discusses one of the Liberal's Ridiculous Theories and Notions.


Not the type of pirate you were hoping to find? Well, then, you probably ought to look here.
Yo! Ho!

Pirates (PIE-rat) are a race of mythological aquatic humanoids created by Liberals and Communists to support their hair-brained theories of global warming and evolution and to celebrate their hatred of Our Lord and Savior.

Fascist propaganda tells stories about pirates celebrating larceny, alcoholism, and poor speech habits, all known properties of Liberals (created in their own image, one would say).


Contents

[edit] Pirates Have Their Own Special Day!


[edit] Who Chooses To Become A Pirate And Why

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[edit] Where One Can Find A Pirate

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[edit] How To Spot A Pirate

ass pirates prep to swab each others poop decks

Some recognizable traits of Pirates include:

  • cybernetic augmented arms and legs
  • eye patches
  • pet birds
  • jet packs
  • excessive use of the word "poop-deck"
  • Anyone who uses Limewire
  • Somali pirates are known to smell of poop[1]



[edit] Famous Pirates

Get this gay crap off me!
  • Black Beard, a famous fearsome pirate
  • Captain Hook, a famous pedo-pirate
  • Sean Fanning, a famous music pirate
  • Robert Reed, a famous heiny pirate
  • Ted Haggard, a famous reverend/butt pirate
  • Captain Jack Swallow, the most famous butt pirate






[edit] What Pirates Do During Working Hours

Spending 4 months at sea with a boatload of homos will do things to you.

[edit] What Pirates Do in Their Spare Time

Caption
  • Vote Democrat
  • Being awesome
  • Being awesomer
  • watch Project Runway
  • comb each other's hair
  • enhance their eye patches and scabbards with glitter and beads (pre-Bedazzler™)
  • eat beef jerky
  • watch an inconvenient truth with Al Gore
  • download music
  • provide a front for the CIA




[edit] See Also


[edit] External Tubes



Oh No!
Pirates
needs help fast!
Quick! Someone call the cavalry!
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