Pimp
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
A pimp is an entrepreneur who specializes in personal entertainment in urban areas.
Contents |
[edit] Plummage
Easily recognized by his colorful plummage, the pimp rules his social group and rarely encounters other social groups (called "entourages") within his geographical area. Pimps are known for shaking their tail feathers. Some species can become very aggressive, however, and may even invade the habitat of other Pimps when their feathers are ruffled (see The Red-Tufted Blood-Sucker).
[edit] The Pimp's Song Repertoire
The North American Pimp has an extensive repertoire of songs. Pimps have been know to "sing like a jailbird" when it serves their purpose.
- P.I.M.P.
- There's Some Hoes in this House
- The ELMO Pimp song (see picture above)
- It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp
[edit] Pimp Husbandry
Pimps usually keep a stable of "ho's" which provide them with ample opportunities to mate.
Top $ ho's include:
Cheap ho's include:
Some wonder if the Dirty Sanchez is a 'ho'. Sometimes, ho's are grouped in with some species of swallow (See Monica Lewinsky).
[edit] Migratory Patterns
Pimps usually migrate from ho to ho.
Pimps may be found nesting in the White House during off hours.
[edit] Statistics
[edit] Lifespan
Despite a moderate lifespan, the North American Pimp may become an endangered species if all goes well.
[edit] Habitat
Pimps spend a lot of their time in holes, but some seem attracted to the White House. Normally, wherever there are ho's, you will find Pimps.
[edit] Diet
Pimps like flesh. Generally, they like to press the flesh or pound the flesh but they rarely actually eat it. Instead, they trade in flesh or sell flesh, sometimes even sacrifice flesh (see The Red-Tufted Blood-Sucker) to support a steady diet of bling.
[edit] Guidebook To North American Pimps
 Big White Chocolate |
 The Green-tufted Bling-Bling |
 The Green-tufted Bling-Bling Mating Ritual Plumage |
 A Legacy Pimp - with entourage |
 The white-tufted cigar-tail |
 Solicitation poster for Bear Pimping School |
 Graduate of Bear Pimping School |
 The Bare-breasted Blood-sucker |
 The Never-get-to- see-her-bare-breasted Blood-sucker |
 The Red-tufted Blood-sucker |
 The Smokey Doggwood Jolly Pimp |
 The Black-faced Gun-toter |
 While often associated with the White-Tufted Cigar-Tail, the Slick-Bill Sap-Sucker is actually a Swallow. When preparing to feed, it sometimes resembles Stephen Colbert's American Eagle. The Slick-Bill Sap-Sucker is both a meat-eater and a seed-eater. |
[edit] See also Birds of Prey
[edit] Documentary
British filmmaker John Oliver is currently filming Pimpin' Is Easy, an exposé into the wonderful life of pimps in Detroit. He is expected to come out with a sequel, Pimpin' Is Easy 2: The Hood Is A Ghetto, with the role of "Juicy Fruit" to be played by John Stewart.
