|People Who Are in Cults|
Pastafarianism, not to be confused with Pastafarian - an interacial half italian, half jamaican person, is the more common name for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, is a religion whose followers believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe.
Pastafarians claim that pirates are ideal beings, whose name was ruined by the Catholic church in the 1800's. They believed that pirates in fact gave out candy to small children. Also, as a repercussion, their demise over the last few centuries has caused global warming. Though this is not the absolute truth, it is a possibility not often looked at given that this theory best fit the data collected so far. Pirates existed before, actually, still exist today in the form of drug smugglers on speedboats. If you eat enough spaghetti you will be enlightened by the flying spaghetti monster and you will reach full potential. The religion of Pastafarians was an idea created to give challenge to the idea of teaching Creationism in science courses within Kansas public schools. However, Pastafarianism is a completely legit religion (they pay no taxes) that has many devout followers that will gladly preach for the truth behind the teaching of The Flying Spaghetti Monster. k?
A few extremist Pastafarians (a specific group called Porfons and Tifrons) believe that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not one being, but three, and that the Pasta, the Meatballs, and the Holy Sauce, as they are called, are separate beings.
Other sects believed that Macaroni, and not Spaghetti, is the true form of the god of Pastafarianism. They refer to their creator as the Flying Macaroni Monster and they believe that the vision of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is corrupted by interference. Raviolis and Spaghetti-o's are not included.
The various sects often argue over the singularity vs. trinity of their god as well as its true form.
The best thing about pastafarianism? It is not only acceptable, but advisable, to be heavily sauced.
It is also believed that the monster would take sacrifices that were given at the top of a mountain in Guam where the sacrifices given were only honey-dew and locusts.
One of the central teachings of the Reformed Pastafarian Church is that 50 to 1 is balanced. There is no greater gift that parents can give their children than the gift of faith in Pastafariansim. To give this gift, the best and indeed most balanced education should have for every 50 hours of religious instruction, praising FSM, one hour of criticism of heathen and heretical faiths, some atheist and agnostic bashing should also take place. Then the children will grow into well rounded young adults and they will see the truth in the Pastafarian Gospel.
The other belief is that airport security checks are immoral. The Lord your Flying Spaghetti Monster said when you are struck on the cheek you turn the other so that you may be struck on that one too if you are slapped you have to slapped again and if requested you must face another slap. There is no higher authority than the FSM Himself. So when someone wants to attack you, you must let him and do not prevent him in any way what-so-ever. Airport security checks are an insult to the FSM and His word.
Another sect is the New York/New England Pastafarians For Fusilli, who are commited to the glorification of fusilli pasta, which they believe is the "One True Pasta". Only the corkscrew design of fusilli allows one to dodge the perils of living in the modern world. Also, the corkscrew was important to the original pirates to allow them to open their alcoholic beverages. Their leader, a Mexican known by his nickname "El Douche" organizes meetings to further the aims of this extreme sect. His real name is Dylan Juan-Carlo "Lundqvist" Jesus (pronounced he-SOOS) Esendra but goes by his nickname due to the extreme length of his name. They believe that macaroni is a gay pasta and is being touted as the "True Pasta" to undermine the ideals of the true Pastafatian faith. It's origins stem from occasional man-on-man incidents that were all too common aboard a sailing vessel in the early days of the religion.