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Passion of the Christ

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Passion of the Christ
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Passion of the Christ
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Passion of the Christ was Mel Gibson's patriotic masterpiece which was originally entitled "The Golgotha Crucifixion Massacre". Another name suggested for it was "The Jews Killed Christ Damnit!" The story follows a young Jewish boy named Jesus wandering around and finding refuge with a crazy band of canibalistic disciples who drink blood and eat human bodies. If you are looking for a great horror film with more blood and gore than Hostel and Saw combined this is the way to go.


Satan and demon baby
In the Gospel according to Gibson, Satan had a "Mini-Me."

The story is a bit drawn out, the ending is predictable and the "based on true events," tagline is ridiculous, but otherwise it's a great little shocker. The only thing that could have made it better is if John Laroquette had done a voice over paying true homage to "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," (without a doubt the film which inspired Gibson).

The working title for the film during production was not "The Golgotha Crucifixion Massacre", in fact, it was the "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre". However, because Jesus healed Leatherface of his leprosy and his lack of skin on his face, the producers wisely decided to instead entitle it "The Passion of the Christ". This is because, says Mel Gibson "Its a great vehicle to display the lord and saviors attitude toward the dirty Jews who are plotting to overthrow our country. The Jews who I do not hate." Gibson later apologized, blaming it all on his father "a man of principle and occasional fits of anti-semitical rage. He taught me everything I know about finding zionist plots in the newspaper. He also called my mother sugartits. A great man indeed."

Gibson later passed on his uncanny ability for detecting zionist plots to Colbert during one of their book club drinking sessions. Unfortunately, Colbert only found one, on the weather page. Oh well. He tried.

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