Paris Hilton was considered one of the greatest Americans of our time. She is wealthy beyond all measure; she is as beautiful as Dick Cheney is nice; and she is as smart as the Greatest President Ever. It is even rumored that Paris Hilton put the Sun, Moon, and stars in the sky. Recently John McCain uncovered that she is working for Barack Hussein Obama, and has made Age-ist remarks against McCain. Paris thinks she is running for president and wants to make Rihanna her running mate.
Paris Hilton is a descendent of the Hilton family of American peasantry. Thus, she was enrolled as a member of Colbert Platinum immediately after her birth. Paris has used her money and influence to
get into the best clubs show average Americans how to live a life of class and style.
Paris Hilton's life has not been all parties and fun, however. In 2007, a bunch of Play boys liberals participated in a conspiracy to damage her good name. Paris Hilton was mistakenly branded as a criminal by the biased media and briefly thrown into prison by the liberal courts of California. Fortunately for us, truth prevailed, and Paris was set free.
Directly as a result of this tumultuous time, Paris Hilton helped establish the Anti Panty League along with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, for the purpose of taming the out-of-control-liberal values in Hollywood.
Paris Hilton has decided to become more than your average
dumb rich slut debutante. She determined that adults aren't the only ones that deserve to be hot. From this time on she started doing it for the kids and designing children's clothing.
Paris Hilton has also been involved in the film industry. Her films have apparently even caused a sensation on the internets.
- Paris Hilton's
prisonfavorite number is "9818713."
- Paris Hilton and Owen Wilson often have sleep-overs and do each other's hair.
- Paris Hilton never wears underwear.
- Paris Hilton was raised right by a pair of wonderful Republicans.