The Panda Bear, a form of bear, is yet another Godless, marauding, killing machine. Originating from China, all pandas are communist.
"Technically they are not actually bears and are closer to being racoons" is a line of liberal propaganda from the most blatant attempt to infiltrate America with these Godless killing machines by an alliance of the Peoples' Republic of China and local television news. The goal was to trick America into letting down its guard and adopting as many of these cute "non-bears" as possible. Unfortunately for liberals, Americans aren't stupid, not even Kansans: they know that the second name of an animal siginifies its species and in "panda bear" it's BEAR!
Stephen knows that they are true bears and has always said so. He has never claimed that they are only marsupials, although he does acknowledge that the Red Panda is a marsupial, as everyone knows.
They are actually quite similar to Polar Bears, except that the bleach only hit them in certain spots, resulting in their black-and-white appearance. These bears are not as dangerous as the others, as they are too upset about their own identity, and the occasional lucky human will find one too confused to attack.
Still, though, they are Godless killing machines just like their cousins, and if the opportunity is presented, one should kill them without remorse. Panda hunting is still legal in all countries except Canada and France.
Stephen Colbert once admitted to killing a panda, to apparently out-scoop www.colbertkilledapanda.com. It was delicious.
Panda Population Edit
It is a well known fact that the numbers of Pandas in the wild is dwindling, despite efforts by zoos across the world. Some zoos, notably the San Diego Zoo, even tried to use Panda Porn to get their pandas to have sex. Just to piss off their zoo keepers, the male panda pulled out. it should also be noted that San Diego had reportedly in November of 2006 voted to ban certain fine American retail stores such as super Wal-marts and other retailers, it is virtually undeniable to some freedom lovers that this ties into their desperate and Pagan like decision to show panda bears pornography to get them to reproduce and expand their terrorist militant organization of killers.. this very well could be a clear sign that they are allies of the terrorist bear organization Conspiracy to overthrow the freedoms the American people are protected by through the constitution and free trade, bottom line here is that the communist Facist regime of panda bears are gaining ground and attempting to destroy America, the panda only pulled out to fool us, the cameras documenting could have easily been shut off for the second Quicky and there could easily have been a pregnancy created, then after that they may try to take over nuculer missile silos and viciously attack all those who oppose the reign of the dictator brotherhood of bears.(Although there may not be many Panda's in the world they have Raped,Looted,and Murdered over 2 trillion people) They swim in the water in summer time :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Pandas In AmericaEdit
President Richard Nixon foolishly accepted the Chinese offer of two communist pandas, Ling Ling and Sing Sing. These cage potatoes are just sponging off the American taxpayers dollar. They paved the way for other zoos across America to allow this invasion of cuteness to infest their facilities as well. :)
- Pandas are very rare, unlike the population of African Elephants, which I heard has tripled in the last 3 months.
- Colbert has once stated that he "brought the jeep around and squashed that there panda's head like a tomater' can!"
- Due to ambiguous sexual characteristics of Panda Bear, Colbert advised all male Panda Bears to check for Adam's apple before mating. Not because Colbert wanted to improve the procreation of those godless Panda Bear, but because not reducing tranny bear and gay bears would make baby Jesus cry.
These are pandas that have been breeded by the Council of Doom. This species of pandas have specially been purged of all their evil bearness and are no longer considered a form of bear. However they still remain extremely violent and easily offended. Only one man, Luceph Lawlin, has ever managed to tame these insane and crazed killing machines. Not much is known about the origin of these ninja pandas. They helped fight off Elmo in the Battle For Elmo's World.Battle For Elmo's World They have a population of 30000 and are growing larger every day. They are not to be approached by anybody outside of the Council unless signing a release form. They are currently living on the backside of the moon in a secure training facility, waiting for the day that the Battle for the Grouch's trash can.
Recently those enviro-pr0ns have seen the light and realized that the cuddly yet deadly panda not worth fighting for! Now if only we could convince them that bears all together are a worthless species we would be able to agree on something...
See also Edit
- Bear is driving
- Bipolar Bear
- Polar Bars
- Polar bears
- Polar Bears
- Polar grizzly
|THE WIKIALITY.COM GUIDE TO BEARS|
|Ursa | Winnie The Pooh | Yogi Bear | Colbear | Smokey The Bear|
|Polar bears | Pizzly | Polar Grizzly | Koala | Panda Bear | Bats|
|Vampbear | BearSharks | Bipolar Bear | Care Bears | Roller bear|
|Bear baiting | Bear is driving | Bearism | Great Bear Incident | The Left Wing Madness|