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Orly Taitz

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Multi-ColoredSpotlight
Republican Goddess of the week
07-29-2009

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Klansman
Despite what you may have heard
Orly Taitz
Is totally not racist!
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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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Orly Taitz
has been a guest of The Colbert Report
and got nailed in the process
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Orly Taitz
is a Truthiness Crusader!
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Yes, really

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Orly's Husband

Orly Taitz (sometimes called O RLY by close friends) is a Real American Hero, Citizenship Truther, CA Attorney, Dentist, and Real Estate Agent (the last of which proves we can trust her). She is at the forefront of the movement to uncover the truth that Barack Hussein Obama was not born in America, and no fancy-shmancy, apparently authentic actual American birth certificate will stop her!

Her HistoryEdit

Contrary to rumors Orly Taitz was not born in the USSR but birthed on America's planet on July 28, 2009 with the sole purpose of appearing on the Colbert Report and bringing down the bear disguised as the US president. Her commie accent is due to nothing more than a birth defect called "Communistaccentism," but my balls assure you, she is a true American. While growing up an an American city, Orly realized that she liked Oarl-y things such as teeth and lying to authority. It was not long before little Taitz became a dentist attorney. When her birth mother of 12 years developed an iron lung, Orly quickly became a black belt and beat the sh*t out of her. After starting anew as a real estate agent, she sold her disabled mother's home for a huge profit.

Orly Taitz is currently working full time trying to expose Chairman Comarade Obama for the liberal bear he really is.

Life as a DentistEdit

Orly Taitz was a dentist. You can't prove that she wasn't.

Her Triumph as a CA AttorneyEdit

Orly Taitz won election in 2010 to become California's Attorney General. You can't prove she didn't.

Her Fortune as a Real Estate Agent and Her Bankruptcy in 2008Edit

Orly Taitz was a very successful real estate agent. You can't prove she wasn't.

Her Work Exposing The Citizenship Lie Of Barack Hussein ObamaEdit

When Orly Taitz noticed that Barack Obama did not speak with the same American accent as her own, she was alarmed. After a brief conversation with her husband, Prince Frédéric von Anhalt, Duke of Saxony, she concluded that Obama could not possibly be an American citizen.

Her research, conducted on The Internet, shows conclusively that:

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  • Barack Obama is a socialist Kenyan anti-colonialist, and we must return him to his natural habitat.
  • Barack Obama might not be white.
  • Barack Obama will bring back Mutton Chops
  • Barack Obama is actually Chester A Stalin

Update: Orly Taitz finds Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate!Edit

OrlyTaitzMugshot

Orly Taitz arrested for presenting false evidence questioning the authority of the mooslim tyrant

Emergency Update!!!Edit

An activist commie-loving bear worshiper corrupt judge has threatened to arrest Orly Taitz if she doesnt stop pursuing the truth!! But fear not! Orly Taitz is a Real Patriot and she wont stop until the truthiness is set free!

Emergency Update 2!!!!Edit

Terrible News!!! Orly Taitz's client has just fired Orly Taitz for being an incompetent selfish lawyer an... false alarm, we have evidence to suggest that the Obama administration is attempting to derail Orly Taitz's case by falsely distributing forge letters filled with slander as an attempt to cause distrust and disruption between Orly Taitz and her client... nice try commie mooslim hippies.

Emergency Update 3!!!!Edit

Wonderful news!! Orly Taitz has just recently found evidence of a conspiracy to obstruct America's justice!! The evidence seems to suggest that the activist judge presiding the case may had been paid off to throw out the case! Finally, we will have justice!

Emergency Update 4!!!!Edit

Not only will Orly Taitz will challenge the libural activist judge, but she refuses to buy her freedom bribe the justices by perpetuating a corrupt system!!! Fight the Machine, Mrs Orly!!

July 29, 2009: As Citizenship Truther Expert in The Colbert ReportEdit

August 3, 2009: As Citizenship Truther Exper in MSNBCEdit

O RLY Taitz’s eloquent speech

January 2012: The END of Obama's Reign of Terror!!Edit

Victory at last! We are told Obama will be deposed soon!

PoliticsEdit

According with sources there is a great chance that Orly Taitz could win Secretary of State and soon the Presidency after that! If the Governor of Alaska can could win the Presidency, why not a Secretary of State?

Update 6/9/2010Edit

I am sadden to report that Orly Taitz lost the primary, sources suspect foul play and fraud Taitz will spend more time hunting down the Mooslim's birth certificate, such job is time consuming and she wont be able to do it while she is running this awesome country!

Citizenship Truther to Take Case on CongressEdit

I have some good news, one of our citizen truther is in a position of power in which he can now inform the legislative body of the mooslim threat, only he can help us end the mooslim tyranny.

Her BFFsEdit

Orlytaitz

Orly Taitz and her BFF
(for some reason the only one willing to be seen with her)

Her EnemiesEdit

In her quest to expose the usurper Obama, Orly Taitz has made many enemies:

Bears from across the globe, including Winnie the Pooh, Smokey, Paddington, Fozzie, Yogi, BooBoo, and the YouTube celebrity bear who fell from a tree, have denounced Orly Taitz's anti-bear crusade.

Orly Taitz also counts George Soros among her enemies for allegedly hiring Dan Lacey, a Minnesota artist, to paint pictures of her giving birth to pancakes.

Soros is also believed to sponsor The Fogbow, a forum of bears and bloggers who have dedicated their lives to dissecting Orly's every word (even the nonintelligible ones). Soros hosts the annual Fogbow retreat, where members convene to discuss new ways to discuss Orly Taitz.

Other enemies include defeated Colorado state senate candidate John Sampson, who was a beloved witness before joining Sheriff Arpaio's Cold Case Posse and refusing to testify in any of her "meellions of cases"; Chris Matthews, who called for Orly Taitz to be burned at the stake; and an Indiana radio host who made fun of her when she called into his show disguised as a woman named Lena with the same voice, accent, and views as Orly Taitz.

Her worst enemy is her hair, which flies into a rage of its own during court hearings, so that she leaves each encounter with her over-peroxided locks snarled atop her head.

Orly Taitz's Top HonorsEdit

2009 GMILF of the Year

2010 GMILF of the Year

Spalding-Flying-Lady
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By Decree & Power of Ballsiness
Orly Taitz!
Shall Receive Lady Balls!


Ode To TaitzEdit

There was an old birther named Taitz

And Barack, you’re the one that she haitz

She’s just dyin’ to send ya

On a one-way to Kenya

She’s as loony as

Old Norman Bates

See AlsoEdit

External TubesEdit


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