Oliver North is a retired Lieutenant Colonel piece of S.H.I.T.^[1] Military Commentator for Fox News. (Born October 31, 24A.D.) He started his career as a Roman Soldier for the Roman Empire.

Contents 1 Mr. North's Military Career 2 Recent Battles 2.1 On Television 2.2 On Radio 2.3 Under Oath 3 Oliver North Factoids 4 Footnotes

Mr. North's Military CareerEdit

“I thought using the Ayatollah's money to support the Nicaraguan resistance was a neat idea.” [1]

~ Ollie's Assessment of Iran-Contra

Recent BattlesEdit

On TelevisionEdit

On RadioEdit

Under OathEdit

Oliver North Factoids Edit

• Smuggled drugs for noble purposes.

• Thinks Jimmy Carter is really really bad.

• He never told a lie in his life.

• He was a peacekeeping soldier, not a combat soldier.

• He is a committed Christian.

• The Iran-Contra Affair is just a myth made up by filthy liberals who hate America and the The Baby Jesus and will burn in hell.

• Ronald Reagan is in heaven giving him a thumbs up.

FootnotesEdit

1. ↑ Super. Hetero. Intelligent. Toughguy