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No Child Left Behind

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I know I'm not going to win any awards for saying it, but I do not think children should be left behind.
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~ Stephen Colbert
June 11, 2007 The Colbert Report


Just like the promise of the law, this article is nearly empty.

Until lazy liberal educators figure out a way to implement the President's plan without adequate funding, the declining knowledge of America's children is their fault. See: Republican Base.

Basic TheoryEdit

States which increase the number of students passing proficiency tests each year get the best federal funding.

CriticismEdit

Some critics of the No Child Left Behind Act say it rewards school where children do well on standardized tests by increasing their funding, and punishes low-scoring schools that need the help the most. They and most of their followers have been banished to hell by the Almighty God. (On the order of Bush, of course) Some were merely sent to Chapel Hill, NC, where their mewling cries are drowned out by the howls of even more extreme liberals. Jesse Helms, that saintly bearer of the cross of truthiness, asked that a wall be put around it, in order to keep all the liberals in.

There's fatal flaw in "No Child left behind", because unless children's preformance are all equally absolutely good/bad, there would be someone got left behind.

Everyone knows that any "child left behind" will be given 3 cups of espresso & a puppy before they are brought home.

See AlsoEdit

External SourcesEdit

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