New York City (sometimes pronounced "Jew York City") is the biggest city ever. Tens of millions of Americans live in it. Mysteriously, it is located in the State of New York. A lot of people who live there are snobby liberal elitists and gay activist judges, but when their city is hit by airplanes (like on 9/11) it rallies them all together in the name of liberty, freedom, and democracy. Until 9/11, Real Americans hated New Yorkers; afterward, we liked them for a while, but now we are pretty much back to the hating. Call it the "Travolta Syndrome".

Contents 1 Things To Do In New York City When You're Dead... or Alive 2 History 2.1 Founding & The Invention Of Street Gangs 2.2 Tammany Hall & The Invention Of Corruption 2.3 Great White Flight 3 New York City Geography 3.1 Manhattan 3.2 Ellis Island 3.3 Queens 3.4 Staten Island 3.5 Hymie Town 3.6 The Bronx 3.7 Brooklyn 3.8 Harlem 3.9 Other Neighborhoods Of Interest 4 New York City Landmarks 5 Monumental Battles With Chicago 5.1 The War Of Skyscrapers 5.2 The Pizza War 6 Sports In New York City 7 Culture In New York City 8 A Typical Day In New York City 9 Strange Laws Unique To New York City 10 Footnotes

Things To Do In New York City When You're Dead... or AliveEdit

Most New Yorkers' favorite pastimes including shouting obscenities at taxi drivers, spraying graffiti on the walls of buildings and subway trains, kicking puppies, and forcing Polish people to live in tenement buildings. They also like to eat bagels.

HistoryEdit

Founding & The Invention Of Street GangsEdit

Tammany Hall & The Invention Of CorruptionEdit

Great White FlightEdit

Let's not forget about the "great white flight" of the 1960's and 1970's. When the white population flooded the outlying suburban towns escaping a budget crisis and soaring inner-city crime; thus the creation of the JAP (Jewish American Princess) took place. The JAP thought she was better than those "poor, ignorant, (white) people who still live in the city and are too poor to escape." Most JAPs reside in Long Island, however, many have been spotted in Westchester and Northern New Jersey.

New York City GeographyEdit

New York City is divided up into eight parts, called boroughs:

1. Manhattan
2. Ellis Island
3. Queens
4. Staten Island
5. Hymie Town
6. The Bronx
7. Brooklyn
8. and Harlem.

They are all awesome, except for Queens and the Bronx which are kind of shabby and seedy and messed up. Manhattan, however, has the lowest crime rate of any area in the world, and Staten Island is a verdant tropical paradise except for the huge amount of garbage. Immigrants used to have to come through Ellis Island, where the American authorities would spell their weird foreign names however they wanted to; they would then pass beneath the Statue of Liberty (which, as observed by Jon Stewart, is indeed located in New York City) before reaching the shore and promptly being hustled off to live in luxury, enjoying their new dream life in America.

ManhattanEdit

See main article Manhattan

Ellis IslandEdit

See main article Ellis Island

QueensEdit

See main article Queens

Staten IslandEdit

See main article Staten Island

Hymie TownEdit

The BronxEdit

See main article The Bronx

BrooklynEdit

See main article Brooklyn ^[1]

HarlemEdit

See main article Harlem

Other Neighborhoods Of InterestEdit

New York City LandmarksEdit

Monumental Battles With ChicagoEdit

The War Of SkyscrapersEdit

The Pizza WarEdit

Sports In New York CityEdit

Culture In New York CityEdit

A Typical Day In New York CityEdit

Strange Laws Unique To New York CityEdit

Footnotes Edit

1. ↑ As of 2009 Brooklyn has ceased to exist ever since "The Seltzer Water Riots" erupted.