New Jersey

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New Jersey
is a Recognized State of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

See Also:

New Jersey (Newfoundland's Belgium or Belgium's Sweden? you decide.) is a state in the Mid-Atlantic and Northeastern regions of the United States. It is the fourth smallest, tenth most populous, the most densely populated, but above all else, THE BEST of the fifty states of the United States. New Jersey is the only state that is also a peninsula, a word which is consistently deliberately misspelled by pubescent teenagers as a cheap sexual innuendo joke. The state is named after the island of Jersey in the English Channel, and has since squashed the former in prominence and odor. It is bordered on the north by New York, on the east by the Atlantic Ocean, on the southwest by Delaware, and on the west by Pennsylvania. Parts of New Jersey lie within the metropolitan areas of New York, Philadelphia, and the Delaware Valley
The Great State of NEW JERSEY
Capitol: Trenton
State Flower: Violet. You got a problem with that?
Official Language: New Joisian
State Bird: The middle finger
State Motto: "Don't worry, the water is supposed to be green."
Nicknames: The Neglected Garden State
Governor: Homo McTaxraiser
State Anthem: Goodfellas soundtrack & Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 in D minor, Op. 125 "Choral"
Population: 8,724,560
Standard MPH: Whatever you want, pending the absence of a cop in your rear-view mirror
Principal imports: Stupid Bennys from New York
Principal exports: Odor
Principal industries: Waste management (not crime rings)
Fun Fact # 1: You'll never find Jimmy Hoffa!
Fun Fact # 2: The Meadowlands is the smelliest place in America.

Contents

[edit] History

The area was originally settled by the Swedes and Dutch. The Indians then conquered them, before getting annihilated by the Yankees in the bottom of the ninth.

New Jersey is known as the "crossroads of the revolution", as many battles were fought there during the American Revolution. The main reason for this is the British sought to prevent the future supremacy of American culture by murdering the great grandfather of Bruce Springsteen, a native of New Jersey's Fightin' Fourth.

The corner of Atlantic and North Carolina aves. in AC, Atlantic City for you illiturates, is famous for hoes.

[edit] New Jersey Today

Bears have been invading northern areas of New Jersey in an attempt to create a pocket of Canada in America. However they are unlikely to succeed as every weekend Colbert takes several trips down I-80 in between the Lincoln Tunnel and the Delaware River and continuously sprays machine-gun fire out the side windows. Anyone who gets in the way should've known better. New Jersey's crowning achievement is a yearly bear hunt in which 75 bears are killed.

Some may say New Jersey is just more than New York's back yard, and has more to see than shopping malls and oceans; however, they are wrong. New Jersey has released the state slogan of: "New Jersey, come see for yourself."

New Jersey is the third leading states for illegal immigrants to go and find work such as building casinos. that highly raises taxes and makes the old white people rich. also, new jersey has the worlds largest number of illiterate peopl, hoes, whores and pacific avenue loving bimbos.

[edit] New Jersey Landmarks

ACIT becasue that school has so many people who learned how to count on dinosaur toes!!!!!A lot of beaches. some are good, some are covered with trash- Atlantic City. some are far to walk to- Wildwood, walk a half a mile and you're at the water!

[edit] Famous New Joisians, who have not been on The Sopranos

[edit] A Typical Day In New Jersey

  • 7am- Wake up.
  • 7:30am- Eat a bagel for breakfast, possibly with a pork roll egg and cheese.
  • 8am- Have a guy at the gas station pump your gas for you.
  • 9am- Spend the day down the shore.
  • 11am- Soaking in cancer rays on beach.
  • 2:30pm- Get into a fight with shoobies, FUCK 'EM UP!!
  • 4pm- Still on beach.
  • 7pm- Have a guy at the gas station pump your gas for you, again.
  • 8pm- Drive home.
  • 9pm- Watch the Sopranos.
  • 10pm- Yell at your neighbors very loudly.
  • 11:30pm- piss all over your house.

[edit] What The Locals Won't Tell You About New Jersey

Parts of the state are not nuclear/toxic but rather rural. These zones are being encroached and absorbed by the cities of doom and destruction. There is no such thing as the Mafia.

[edit] External Links

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