Nevada
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
|
See Also: |
The "Great" State of NEVADA 
| |
|---|---|
| Capitol: | Johnny Carson City |
| State Flower: | Cherry, Cherry, Cherry! |
| Official Language: | The Universal Language - Cash |
| State Bird: | The Neon Egyptian Medieval Pirate Flamingo |
| State Motto: | ATM cards accepted. |
| Nickname: | The Show Me The Money State. |
| Governor: | Yes |
| State Anthem: | "You Only Love Us For Our Silver" circa 1865 |
| Population: | Bear: 200-300 Black Bears |
| Standard MPH: | City: 60mph Rural: 70mph Reality: 85-90mph |
| Principal imports: | Californians |
| Principal exports: | Empty Wallets, STDs |
| Principal industries: | Quickee divorces, Gambling, Prostitution and Burning Man |
| Fun Fact # 1: | Ironically, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is from Nevada. |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Is 99% desert. |
A Red State in America. Home of Las Vegas and legalized prostitution. Also known as California's Spain. There was a brief time in Nevada's history when prostitution was curtailed, that era was known as "The Carter Years" and Stephen Colbert has warned about the return of "Hooker Rationing" if Jimmy Carter's son Jack Carter is elected
The locals hate you.
Heed Stephen's words Nevada; you have been warned.
Contents |
[edit] Pronunciation
Proper pronunciation of Nevada is Nuh-Vaw-Duh, however, local pronunciation is Neh-va-duh. The latter is, in fact, enforced by local Grizzly Bears.
[edit] Discovery
Nevada was founded by ruthless prostitutes in search of prosperity and corn (they missed Iowa, so they stuck to the prosperity thing).
[edit] History
In 1975 a fat amputee hooker named Lola and a hick who calls himself "Rim Job Ryder" wanted a casino and a strip club near their desert home. They built their dream and called it Las Vegas. Las Vegas is the only city in Nevada.
[edit] Achieving Statehood
[edit] Nevada Today
No self-respecting god-loving moral person (a.k.a. conservatives) have been ballsy enough to enter the state since the Bears have been "voted" into control of the state in 2005. Uh, did I say not ballsy enough? What I meant to say is that no "sane" person has had the time to go to Nevada since 2005. Anyway the rumor is that the even more powerful Grizzly Bear has teamed up with the ever feared Lesbian Dentist Cartel or LDC to create a secret police of liberal brown-nosers to weed out any moral or insubordinate people in the state. The LDC is the more powerful and advanced faction born from the origional founding prostitutes, or as Bill Clinton calls them "his assistants". There is also a rumor of a U.S. secret military base called Area-51, or 52, no one really cares, that is simply a lie. No more questions. Period.
[edit] non-Las Vegas Landmarks
None have been found yet, because there is an on-going confict with bears, and money cannot be used for finding commie landmarks.
[edit] Famous Nevadans, who are not hookers or mobsters
[edit] Famous Hookers or Mobsters
[edit] A Typical Day in Nevada
Includes fighting for your wallet back from the great bear overlords who rule just outside of the bearless boundaries of Las Vegas. Otherwise, nothing but free love and constantly trying to find the prosperity the founding prostitutes sadly never found.
[edit] External Links
- Charitable Organizations in Nevada
- Nevada Hatez California
- Nevada finds solution to homeless problem
