Narlboro Brand Cigarettes
is available for purchase
from and for the benefit of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.

Delicious, off-brand smokes enhanced with 10% more nicotine and made environmentally friendly through the use of other full, rich-tasting, and smooth cigarettes (that may have been used). It's a proven fact that fine tobacco products make their user better in every way. Anybody who says different is wrong. They are wrong, gay, and stupid!!!!!!!

Cigarette Facts!Edit

• Make the smoker infinitely cooler.
• Stimulates areas of the brain that anable the smoker to use ten to twenty % more of their brain function.
• Are absolutely delicious!!
• Smell like a little piece o' heaven.
• Are recommended to athletes by experts.
• Are proven to repel homosexuals who are obviously preoccupied with your penis!
• Are looked down upon by filthy, idiotic foreigners.
• Cause cancer for sure. But what doesn't cause something, huh?
• Do not cause AIDS unlike fagism and born blackeosis.
• Nobody ever quits cigarettes, cigarettes quit nobodies.
• Tek Jansen has discovered their restorative properties, stemming from their ability to line the delicate tissues of the throat, esophagus and lungs with a soothing medicinal tar like substance, thereby strengthening them against the dangers of every day life. The process has been described as akin to "wearing a suit of armor on the inside."
• Makes your teeth brighter and freshens breath.
• Protects from dangerous situations and death by putting the smoker on Gods list of lucky smokers.

External SourcesEdit

• Wikipedia's fine entry on the benefits of smoking - Warning: May include some facts not yet verified by cigarette manufacturers.