National Rifle Association

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National Rifle Association
is a proud and perfect
reflection of the Republican Party.
ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.


National Rifle Association, the awesmomest, most patriotic organization ever. Liberals want to take away our right to have guns... and the NRA wants to shoot them and burn their bodies. The NRA realizes that the average citizen will need to be prepared for the Bear uprising of 2012, and will need personal arsenals to turn back the bear menace. The NRA is led by That guy from the original Planet of the Apes, Ted Nugent and Magnum PI.

The N.R.A. is the original protector of the Second Amendment and is at all times on the level.

An eagle, guns, America and The Holy Ghost ... nothing finer.

Contents

[edit] Role of the NRA

The National Rifle Association travels around in a bus called "The Mystery Machine" and with their large Great Dane, they hunt malicious "ghosts". (Usually, the "ghosts" turn out to be cans. Afri-cans, Mexi-cans, Puerto Ri-cans. Either that or Old Man Smithers)

The NRA approves after school activities like hunting and gun cleaning…

[edit] NRA Tour

Real Patriots go on tour with the NRA! Go America!

After the successful 1999 convention in Littleton, Colorado, NRA officials announced they will be taking their tour around the country to promote their new slogan, "We're everywhere you are!"

"We'll be like a traveling revival of Constitutional rights: part God, part gun, no gays!" an unnamed spokesman announced during a December, 2007 press conference, "We have Real American Celebrities like Tom Selleck, Kurt Russell and Ricky Schroeder who will be speaking to in communities like Colorado Springs, Colorado, Arvado, Colorado, Omaha, Nebraska, Salt Lake City, Utah and Kansas City, Missouri. The very places, where red-blooded Americans live and work and shop and worship Our Lord and Savior in the safety that only guns can provide."

"Our aim is to hit every American town, no matter how small," the spokesman promised.

Dogs love the NRA and guns! Makes hunting humans game easier

[edit] 2008 Tour

More Cities have been added to the 2008 tour:

[edit] 2009 Tour

Lesson learned: don't bring martial arts to a gun fight.

[edit] NRA's 2009 Special Tour: Anti-Socialized Medicine Town Halls

[edit] NRA's 2009 Special Special Tour: Anti-communist Event

[edit] History

The NRA's new recruitment campaign, designed to attract animal lovers

In 1545, Jesus and Ted Nugent decided that the only way to protect Real Americans was to give them guns—lots of them. Since then, it has been been constantly assailed by the forces of darkness, most notably Michael Moore, Al Franken, and all feminazis.

[edit] Notable Members

Note: All members are guaranteed entry into Heaven and an honorary seat at Jesus's right hand.

[edit] Voters Assistance

How guns protects America from “undesirables” and terrorists!

Every election, the NRA supplies their members with information in the form of sponsored debates handy wallet cards listing talking points detailed explanations for only those initiatives pertinent to the group that are on the upcoming ballot.

For the 2008 United States Presidential election, the NRA supplied all their members (and subscribers to "The American Rifleman" magazine) with a well-thought-out informational packet that contained the following reminders:

  1. Obama wants to take your guns and give them to Al Qaeda
  2. liberals want to criminalize all gun use except for when they perform abortions
The NRA provides free guns to all teachers and students. Now that’s School safety!

[edit] NRA Endorsements:

[edit] External Tubes




National Rifle Association
is one of the Think Tanks that keep this country
on a straight and righteous path.
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