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North Carolina

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North Carolina
is a Recognized State of the United States of America.
All the geography American schoolkids Need To Know.

See Also:

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ATTENTION: This Page is for Real Americans™ ONLY
If you are not a Real American™, pack your bags and report to GITMO.
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North Carolina
Makes The Baby Jesus™ Happy
And that Makes Stephen happy, too!


North Carolina
NORTH CAROLINA
Capital: Charlotte
State Flower: Daisy
Official Language: American
State Bird: Seagull
State Motto: "We just like being above South Carolina"
Nickname: First in Flight. We wouldn't have beaten the Nazis without North Carolina
Governor: Is familiar with the word
State Anthem: "Gentlemen, Start Your Engines"
Population: 9,000,000
Standard MPH: What is MPH?
Principal imports: Virgin Yellow Poplar Wood (to make more furniture)
Principal exports: Coffee Tables
Principal industries: Furniture Stores Going Out of Business
Fun Fact # 1: North Carolina is where George Washington discovered the first entertainment center.
Fun Fact # 2: Gambling is illegal in North Carolina with two exceptions: the Native American Casino and the state lottery. Go figure.


North Carolina (South Carolina's North Dakota) is home of the first airplanes. Because it had the first airplanes, North Carolina is against commie hippie bear loving liberals, and its American. Sure it was a slave state in the 19th century, but that was the past. Right now, its the 21st century, and North Carolina has come along ways from its past self.

DiscoveryEdit

North Carolina was discovered by Sir Walter Raleigh. He was English, and as such, too stupid to survive for long in America.

HistoryEdit

In the 18th century, Sir Walter Raleigh made an English colony and named it "Carolina". But in the 1790's, Carolina was divided into North and South. During the 19th century, North Carolina was an evil confederate state, and it was an enemy of God. But at the end of the civil war, it was restored to America. By the late 19th century and early 20th century, North Carolina desided to make a change and become a good state, so it made that change and it made God forgive North Carolina. North Carolina went from awful to awesome!


Achieving StatehoodEdit

One of the original thirteen colonies, North Carolina was never quite as good as Virginia, but far superior to South Carolina and quickly developed a reputation for kicking Georgia's ass on an almost daily basis.

North Carolina TodayEdit

North Carolina today is completely different than it was in the 19th century. They are now against bear loving liberals, and they are way more american!

North Carolina LandmarksEdit

  • The Cleveland County Fair
  • The Bankrupt NASCAR Hall of Fame
  • The City of Shelby
  • The Catamount Statue at Western Carolina University where a dead bear covered in Barack Hussein Obama signs was left by a couple of great Americans during the 2008 election season, as a tribute to Stephen
  • Currituck County, home of the Grave Digger monster truck, and the "Sportsman's Paradise."

Famous North CaroliniansEdit

A Typical Day in North CarolinaEdit

Church. NASCAR. Curse some liberals. Curse some bastards from Buffalo. Church. Fry something. Watch the Panthers game. Fly a plane.

General Lee and Cherokee Edit

North Carolina has it all: beaches, golf, rolling hills, and mountains. It is also home to the finest of Native American Casino, the Cherokee Casino Resort. The casino caters to the local crowd by serving moonshine by the jug, offering mobile home connections in the parking lot, and replacing the bells and whistles on the slot machines with carbon monoxide powered glass packs.

The casino has been highly successful as red necks love to spend every nickel they earn. On any given weekend, thousands of families in pick-up trucks will pay $150 or more to watch cars drive around in a circle for a couple of hours. The same people will spend hours playing black-jack trying to get 24 to honor their favorite driver.

Beautiful and Exotic North Carolina Landmarks Edit

There is a large cement pond in Greensboro, NC, which draws numerous visitors each year. Some days the fishers out number the swimmers. A definite must see if you have a bucket of shiners and a rod.

FactsEdit

  • There are 234.6 North Carolinians currently
  • The largest mouse was discovered in 2005 in North Carolina; it was weighed and measured to be 12 feet long and 11.4 inches wide. It weighed 200 lbs.
  • To boost the economy in 2008, each home purchase came with a free noose.

Laws Unique To North CarolinaEdit

North Carolina is the only Southern state not to have protected itself against the gay marriage.

External LinksEdit

NotesEdit


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