Missouri
From Wikiality, the Truthiness Encyclopedia
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See Also: |
The "Great" State of MISSOURI 
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| Capitol: | Anheuser-Busch |
| State Flower: | The Meth plant |
| Official Language: | Redneck |
| State Bird: | Ashcroft Eagle |
| State Motto: | Violence is not the answer unless they really deserve it which is all the time
so violence is the answer |
| Nickname: | The "it took me 5 tries to spell it right" state |
| Governor: | Who cares? They'll elect a dead man if it suits them. [1] |
| State Anthem: | Let the Eagle Sour, by John Ashcroft |
| Population: | Pre Tornado Season: 5,600,000
Post Tornado Season: Only the people who have basements |
| Standard MPH: | Depends on where you fall on the Chevy vs. Ford debate |
| Principal imports: | Montana and Minnesota water |
| Principal exports: | Jenna Fischer/Double Wides and their inhabitants |
| Principal industries: | Sports Bars/Cow Tipping/Being on COPS |
| Fun Fact # 1: | The gateway arch is made out of Provel chesse [2] |
| Fun Fact # 2: | Kansas City was obtained through a war with Kansas |
Contents |
[edit] Discovery
[edit] History
[edit] Achieving Show-Me Stateness
Missouri, also known as Iowa's Kazakhstan, is called the "Show me" state because everyone there says that when they send instant messages to STUDS (Strong Teens Using Democracy).
The teens rarely comply, but Missourians give up easily and are willing to accept a measurement. That's known as a "Missouri Compromise".
[edit] Modern-day Show-Me Stateness
[edit] State Seal Controversy
Just look at it: two bears!!
[edit] Missouri Landmarks
[edit] "Gateway" Arch
Much of Missouri would be flooded if it weren't for the levies that hold back the water. Levies are also known as dikes or "dykes". Missouri is full of dykes who were allowed to constuct a huge sculpture to commemorate the play Vagina Monologues.
After it was built, then-governor John Ashcroft was embarrassed by what he called "this pornographic monstrosity." He suggested covering it up, but eventually (as everyone there does until they move to DC) accepted a Missouri Compromise that renamed the sculpture "Gateway Arch"
[edit] MO famous people from Missouri
- John Ashcroft
- Harry Truman
- Conrad Burns
- Marty McFly, but only until Claire McCaskill wins the Senate seat or Rush Limbaugh decides to kill and eat him.
- Brad, a friend who told me he was moving to Missouri. 'If you can't be smarter, move somewhere where you seem smarter."
lame.
