Godless Killing Machines
These sinister beasts are nearly as deadly a threat as bears. They spread their chaos by invading the thoughts of honest American heroes. Some psuedo-heroes, including former Taxachusetts Governor Mitt Romney are ignorant to the minotaur threat, probably because they have become contaminated by liberal filth.
A minotaur may look like a disgusting slob, but they can kill 5 people with one swing of their vicious club made out of pure nothingness. Their nose ring is not only for helping them blend in the rest of society, but it can also be used as a floatation device. On that note, DO NOT try to drown a minotaur. It will live. You will Die.
The only thing worst than Minotaurs (aside from bears) is minotaur polygamy. And the only thing worse than that is gay minotaur polygamy!
America, you have been warned!